Sweet, But Deadly

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 25

Okay, T.K., back away from the edge of the deck. The shore is near, you don’t have to dive off the side. We’ll be docking soon.

Yeah, I missed yesterday, and what? Ugh. Okay, look, it was my Granny’s 82nd birthday. Is that an excuse? Maybe it would be if I hadn’t sat around the house all day doing nothing until the evening when we went to celebrate.

Look, let’s go.

Writing Prompt: Think of any word, search it on Google images. Write something inspired by the 11th image.

Hm.

I suppose “hm” isn’t a word, but that’s the first sound that came from my mouth when reading today’s writing prompt.

I’m on FaceTime right now, I know, possibly not best practice for building a daily writing habit, but I don’t feel like hanging up, so I have my friend being quiet while I take 30 minutes to write. Being a person easily crippled by too many choices, I’ll read the writing prompt to my friend and let my friend give me a word to type into Google.

Strawberry Shortcake

Laughter roared from my chest when my friend said this word, or this two-word name.

First, my mind went to diabetes and how big pharma wants us addicted to sugar because the lifelong health complications from unhealthy eating is what keeps them rich. However, that’s likely because a moment ago I was giving my grandmother a bedtime snack after taking her blood sugar, giving her her medication, and refilling her medicine tray for the upcoming week.

When my aunt got home from work, she was telling me how I can’t take it upon myself to not give my grandmother her insulin injection and/or adjust it as I see fit. I’m aware I don’t have a medical degree, and her doctor has prescribed whatever he has prescribed, but I disagree. I can, and I should, adjust her insulin as I see fit, as I’m monitoring it morning, noon, and night, because sometimes she doesn’t need 24 units of [bleeping] Novolin! However, that is her mother after all, and she is my grandmother’s primary caregiver, so who am I to hop into the equation rebalancing it?!

That’s the main reason I wish I’d “made it” by now. I told you all in a previous blog post, in so many words, that IDGAF about that “gotta do this” and “gotta achieve that” nor “gotta have this” bologna requirements we place on ourselves anymore. I believe the purpose of life is simply to live.

Related: All I Have To Do Is Stay Black And Die

There is one thing I do gaf about though, and that’s Mable, my grandmother. I beat myself up that I’m not at a place that I can do for her how I’d like to do for her, and it sickens me even more that I’m in my late twenties and she’s in her early eighties and I’m still nowhere near where I need to be for her, for my family, for my people.

I want to put my grandmother in a house and have a non-relative caregiver on payroll, in addition to a nutritionist and physical therapist, keeping her diet and exercise spectacular. If she had that, if I could do that, she wouldn’t need to take a boatload of pills and viles of injections, ruining other parts of her body while it tries to fix another.

My grandmother has never been a drinker, but her kidneys are at a 21-percent function rate.. why? Modern medicine. It’s a scam.

The body can heal itself. God knew what He was doing, but no, us humans want to go fixing things.

Child, I could go on, but it’s 11:57pm now.

Something else is sweet, but deadly too..

Me.

Myself was the next thing to come to my mind while looking at that beautiful, slutty image of a strawberry shortcake. Yum. Mm. It’s good, hein? Watch out now, ‘cause it could be a silent killer.

11:59pm. Pressing publish. Goodnight.

A Letter to Little Baby

Twenty ‘til midnight, I have a headache and I want to be in bed. Do I sound like a complainer? I’m not. I’m a campaigner. [corny open-mouth wink]

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 23

Ou, it’s June 23rd, I knew that because my grandmother’s birthday is tomorrow and a bit earlier this evening I was making plans for my little lady with 82 years of age. I’m down South visiting her for the occasion, as I’ve had the tendency to do my entire adult life.

Related: Took My Granny to the Gym with Me (TikTok video)

Whew, it’s 15 ‘til the hour now. Come on, writing prompt.

Writing Prompt: A letter to someone, anyone

Hey you,

I love you. I don’t want to hesitate, I don’t want to fluff it up, or fill the space with words leading up to it. I want to tell you now, and I want to tell you later.

You’re troubled. You’re tough. You’re hard. You’re mean. You’re the black sheep

…right now.

One day, you’ll be the golden child.

It feels good when Mrs. Mazzone, your 3rd grade teacher, pauses by your seat in class and gently scratches her long nails in short strokes across the top of your back, doesn’t it? You don’t feel affection often, do you? You’re not like other children. And as a result, you’re not treated like other children. Or, is it the other way around? You’re not treated like other children, and as a result, you’re not like other children.

The sweet preciousness of youth is in you, but your exterior has become hardened.

You don’t know how to handle your emotions. You’re only a little baby.

You’re nonchalant. You don’t care.. at least, that’s what your mouth says. “I don’t know and I don’t care,” you tell the social worker lady, or whatever it is that Mrs. Barbara Bous does. But you do care.

You crawl to the back row of the minivan, get darn near under the seat, and weep. I want to wipe your tears. I want to hug you. I want to hold you. I want to fix you. I’m working my way to you.

I’m going to get to you, and I’m going to save you. I’m reaching out, writing you this letter, in hopes you’ll let me in.

But then again, what can I do? I’m only a little baby.

Three Things My Child Needs To Know

Dragging my feet, child. Dragging my feet.

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 21

Wait, don’t they say it takes 21 days to form a habit? Does me making it to the 21st day of this 30-day writing challenge mean that I now have a habit of writing daily? Am I on my way to putting out copious amounts of prolific writing to be loved and adored by the world?! Too far? Calm it down? Okay, whatever.

[Heads to WordPress graphic in my camera roll to see today’s writing prompt]
I wish it weren’t already 15 ‘til the hour with me trying to press publish by midnight. This is a good one.

Writing Prompt: What three lessons do you want your children to learn from you?

Currently raising myself, I’m having all sorts of extensive thoughts about how I want to raise the child I’ll one day bear. I say child, singular, now, after wanting 6 kids once upon a time, because of how deeply I think into the gentle molding of a young into an adult.

First of all: Don’t be a f*** up, kid.

There are a lot of f***** up people in this world, and majority of it is a result of their f***** up childhood. Parents really f*** children in all sorts of ways they don’t always realize, then that broken child walking around inside of an adult body has to try their best to fix it.

I don’t want to f*** my child up, that’s it. My goals as a future parent aren’t insanely high.

I want to raise a fully functioning adult that will be a contributing member of society.

Maybe I’ll become a lunatic parent after the baby passes thru my puss and boots, demanding they figure out how to sustain life on Mars, but as of now, I’m praying I’ll raise a good person.

As long as my kid learns these three lessons from me, my kid won’t be a f*** up:

1. Be joyous in all things.

2. Failure is not an option.

3. Love thy neighbor as thyself.

(Yes, my time ran out. I went ahead and cheated by pressing publish for this 21st writing prompt to be dated the 21st. I know. I’m weird. Let’s continue.)

Lesson 1. Be joyous in all things.

I want my child to have my joyous spirit.

People always tell me that I seem like I’m always happy and it’s because I am. Now, listen, I’m as sensitive as the next girl and can fly off the handle with a QUICKNESS, but once it has flown, it’s gone. I say what I have to say, I do what I have to do, I handle what I have to handle, then I’m right back to being my happy-go-luck self. I probably couldn’t stay mad if I tried.

Even in dark situations, I can find a glimmer of happiness and frolic in it as if I have all the light on the equator.

Having a positive outlook on life is life-changing.

There’s beauty in everything. There’s a reason to be grateful in everything. There’s not a thing that can steal my joy. “Bad luck” isn’t in control of anything around here, honey. Fortune hath not one place to hit me.

I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me.

- Sir Thomas Browne (1605-1682)

What?! It’s in me! It’s not on me, it’s in me. It’s not around me, it’s in me. It’s not attached to me, it’s IN ME!

I have that in me.

Do you understand what I’m saying? I need you to feel this, because I felt it when I first heard it in a TED Talk by social psychologist Dan Gilbert. I had to stop the video, rewind, play it again, rewind one more time, then take a screenshot of the quote on the screen. It hit the nail on the head sealing the box of my feelings.

The clothes on my body don’t make me happy, the content of my heart does. The city I’m living in doesn’t make me happy, the way I live in it does. The title I have doesn’t make me happy, the way I operate does. I can turn whatever into whatever because it is in me. And there’s not a thing that can take that away.

I want my little girl to have that in her, or my little boy to have that in him.

Lesson 2. Failure is not an option.

Baby, you can do whatever your little heart may desire, but failing ain’t one of ‘em.

This is a mantra borrowed from my alma mater, St. James High School, when I was living in lil’ ol’ Vacherie, Louisiana. They had those words, “failure is not an option”, printed in various places, from brochures to banners.

In my secondary school days, I never once ever thought “what if I can’t…” Ain’t no can’t! It’s “better figure out how you can”. I don’t recall ever wondering if something would be too hard, if I didn’t have the skill-set, or if I didn’t have the money. My thought process would be more along the lines of “hmm.. I don’t have this, I wonder what I can do.” When I couldn’t cheer, one because of my disciplinary record and two because I didn’t have the thousand bucks upfront the team required, I started my own band auxiliary team with my own rules and fundraisers. When I transferred to a school without higher level French class offerings, I pressed the issue and got my own class. I would recognize where I’m lacking, what could possibly stop me, then come up with a solution to work around it.

There is always an option. Failure is not one.

I want my child to have the confidence to go after his or her desires, then the perseverance to keep at it regardless the obstacle.

Lesson 3. Love thy neighbor as thyself.

One of the best compliments I received from a girlfriend was during a birthday wish where she said “I love the way you love people,” and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t referring to me simply being a people-person. I actually love people, I love on them, actively. I go to great lengths to show my love for people. I profess it. I demonstrate it. I love on people as if I were people loving on me.

I know the Bible verse, “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37–39), is referring to not being malicious in general. Don’t steal, don’t kill, that 10 commandment type of stuff. However, when I say it, I’m talking beyond the basic “respect your fellow man” concept. I’m talking about giving love, to those close to you, the way you’d want to be given love.

Maybe I could’ve come up with a better adage for the notion I’m trying to convey, but it’s well after 2 o’clock in the morning at this point and my eyelids are growing far too heavy to continue typing.

Also, in a real blog post, I close with a summary, or all-encompassing thought. Should these be that? Am I too lax during this self-challenge to write daily? Ah, well..

Goodnight, riders. See ya on the next post of this 30-day writing challenge.

Come Here Big Daddy

30-Day Writing Challenge

We’re keeping it rolling, baby. After one last stop in New Orleans to Bernard’s Pralines, we hopped on I-10 East out of Da Boot.

Whoah, I’m really almost kinda sorta two-thirds of the way thru this 30-day writing challenge. I say kinda sorta because I’ll have to make up the two days I’ve missed, then do a post, after they’re all up, listing them all.

Yesterday, I shared a blog post with my cousin and her man, who are new parents, about how I can’t stand when people post new babies on social media. The post isn’t really all about y’all folks’ ugly newborns, but that is what had come up in conversation to prompt me to share. My cousin said, “weeeeeeell, I finally got to the part where you list your pet peeves.” I took that as a hint that I should consider getting to the point sooner in blog posts.

Let’s get to it.

Writing Prompt 20: Post about three celebrity crushes.

My right eye immediately pinched slightly more closed than the left.

Working in Beverly Hills luxury retail and high end hospitality all aroundLA, I’ve been in close proximity to a number of our nation’s biggest stars. My grandmother raised me to treat everyone with the same level of respect, from the CEO to the janitor, because if they put on their pants one leg at a time, like me, they ain’t no better than me, and I ain’t no better than them.

Thee only time I’ll probably ever get star struck is if Tupac Amaru Shakur grabbed me by the hand. And that’s mainly because it’d be my first time seeing a ghost.

Though I’ve seen the corniness beyond the illusion of the lights and cameras, to not be a party pooper, I’ll think of a few celebrity crushes.

If we’re going on solely looks, the Black men in Hollywood whose attractiveness can’t be denied are:

• Idris Elba

• Morris Chestnut

I thought I was going to say one more, but no one came to mind. Mind you, both of these men are old enough to be my father. Actually, I think they may have children my age. Look, y’all know in a previous blog post I drew a connection between all the things that make me like a man being what a father does for his child.

Related: Treat Me Like I’m Your Baby And I Will Be

Well, we’re pulling up to my grandmother’s house. Let me go on in and shut it on down after being on the road all day.

Next Time ‘Round, I’ll Be a Better Lover

Oops, I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 19

I played with your heart.. got lost in the City.

Right after saying my ENFP personality type is prone to getting distracted, what do I do? Go and get distracted.

Related: A Smart Mouth, Wild A** Girl

I could simply not admit it and no one would ever know, but what help would that do? I didn’t do my daily blog post yesterday. [sigh]

Let’s get to it today, Miss Girl.

Writing Prompt 19: Describe your first love.

[inserts previous blog post]

Related: Words That Stuck With Me From My First Real Boyfriend

No, seriously. I talked about my first love already. Way back on the second writing prompt of this 30-day writing challenge, I wrote about my first love.

He was everything. He is everything.

If I couldn’t pay my rent this very day, even though we went our separate way years ago, if he had it to give, my rent would be paid, and that’s a fact.

He loved me… deeply… for me… through all my imperfections… for them, really.

I loved him… childishly… family-oriented, I fell right in… adoring his ways with his mother and grandmother.

It was beautiful. It is beautiful.

We argued, of course. It’s me. However, I have nothing but fond memories.

I’m thankful for the experience. I’m thankful to have experienced him. And I may be most thankful that he made me comfortable enough to allow him to experience me.

I look forward to feeling those feelings again, in a new form, with whomever the heavens see fit to send my way.

(Side note: One of my girlfriends brought up my first love the other day, saying “girl you would never date him now,” and my face balled up in confusion. I suppose my friends think… hm, let’s see… My friends don’t see my current preferences, and/or what attracts me to a man, attracting me to that same man. And, maybe they’re right. Because yeah, ice water being served by nuns in Hell is more likely to happen than me spinning that block. But, at that time, he was just right.)

I can’t relate to the many girls I’ve spoken to that want to delete their first from their memory, or have regrets. If I had to name one, thee only regret I would have is that I wish I would’ve been a better woman to him.

What’s that Adele song?

I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to love me again
I'll put my hands up
I'll do everything different
I'll be better to you

I’ll be better prepared for love the next time ‘round.

Okay, last night in New Orleans. Let me go run around with these tourists.

Talk to y’all later, riders.

A Smart Mouth, Wild A** Girl

Today I don’t feel like doing anything, I just want to lay in my bed.

Well, my cousin’s couch, that is.

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 17

My cousin’s boyfriend had my cousin and I take a Myers-Briggs personality test, and though I tend to challenge generalized methods of categorization, my results hit on the money!! Listening to and discussing their results first, my jaw dropped when it was my turn. It’s good to know that my slacking on this 30-day writing challenge isn’t because I’m a lazy bum. On the contrary, I’m very energized, but an aspect of my ENFP-T personality type is that I get bored easily.

Campaigner (ENFP) Weakness

Unfocused. The thrill of a new project – especially one that involves collaborating with other people – can bring out the best in Campaigners. But this personality type is known for having ever-evolving interests, meaning that Campaigners may find it challenging to maintain discipline and focus over the long term.

source: 16personalities.com

I am unfocused.

Now that I’ve identified this productivity crippling weakness in my personality type, I need to figure out how to combat it. I set out on this 30-day writing challenge and hit the ground running, only to start losing major steam before even hitting the halfway mark. It makes me want to beat myself up, but if my issue can be diagnosed, that means it can be cured! Right?! Right.

Having barely been 24 hours since I took the 16personalities.com test, I haven’t done deep dive research yet. Thirty days isn’t even “long term”. Ain’t no way I’m struggling, ain’t no way. Surely I can do this, surely.

I haven’t quite found my discipline. But I will. For now, I’ll just keep going, even if these daily blog posts aren’t the most eloquent or elaborate. I’m going to keep going. I’ll figure out the rest as I go along.

Writing Prompt 17: Post about your zodiac sign and whether or not it fits you.

Now what are the stinking chances?! On these daily posts, I’ll write the intro before referring to the WordPress graphic with all 30 writing prompts on it, and I don’t look ahead while working on previous prompts. When I said that I tend to challenge descriptions based on categories, I was specifically throwing shade at that zodiac sign bologna. Then I get to the writing prompt and it’s telling me to post about my zodiac sign. Cute. Very cute.

I’ll try not to be intentionally contrary.

“What’s your sign?” People love asking. “My birthday is December 8th,” I respond, telling them to tell me since they believe in it so much. Sassy. I know.

Child, let me go look this up.

To keep with the personality thing, since I’m already on it, I typed in “December 8th zodiac personality,” and this is what the top of Google has to say,

Headstrong and imperious, a December 8 Sagittarius has a docile side; they express this by constant personality changes. Because they tend to extremes, it's not uncommon for them to regret many of their choices. They have creative talent but seem to prefer the life of a dilettante.

source: HowStuffWorks

My grandmother and anyone else that has ever been a caretaker for me will definitely say I’ve been strong-willed my entire life. I’ll admit that I can be a bit overbearing at times. So, I guess they lucked up with the “headstrong and imperious” part.

The rest is trash.

Zodiac signs are trash.

My personality is consistent; it’s too strong for me to change it, or pretend to be a different way, even if I try. I think it was the Sex On The Brain lil’ daily blurb, where I mentioned how I’ve never been a person to have regrets; I honestly can’t think of one regret I have, let alone regretting “many of [my] choices”. I, personally, don’t consider myself too creative; just like my dominant hand, I’m a left-brain person, mostly analytical in thinking. And, lastly, I’m a person that goes ALL IN when I’m into something; I don’t like simply skimming the surface how a dilettante is defined.

Psychoanalyst Carl Jung founded the field of analytical psychology, from which the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was born. | photo: CBC Radio Online

Yeah, see, God wanted to further confirm the well-researched, theory-based, individualized Myers-Briggs test I took yesterday. The difference between defining a personality with a birthday and defining a personality with a test is that one is based on gimmicks and stars. The other is based on the research of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung, and most importantly, YOU! Your results, your personality type, from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is based on you as an individual. It’s “an introspective self-report questionnaire indicating differing psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.” Maybe it’s just me, but it seems you can get way more accuracy out of that than when you happened to come out of your mama’s tootie cat.

What’s your personality type?

If you’re interested in learning more about yourself and the constellations are quite doing it, look into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Various entities offer their version of the test. I took a free one offered by a website named 16personalities dot com.

Let me know your findings! Did your results hit the nail on the head like mine? Or, are you one of those space-brained people that lives and dies on every hanging word of your horoscope? Come to the alter, my child. I’d like to pray for you. Kidding, kidding! Believe what you want to believe as long as it’s helping you better yourself, and not hurting anybody else.

The road feels rocky sometimes, but thank you for being here, my riders.

Please, share, engage. Talk to me, baby. And enter your email address below to join the blog’s mailing list.

Ready to Free My Cheeks As I Please

Whoop! Whoop!

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 16

We’re back at their hole-in-the-wall. Let me stop calling this establishment that term. I don’t even see any holes in their walls, only a few ceiling tiles hanging low. In all seriousness, I like this spot. The chicken wings SLAP!!! No exaggeration, I mean every capital letter and every exclamation point. The drink pours are generous and the bartenders are welcoming. I enjoy myself every time we come here.. the many times we come.

If you’re ever in New Orleans and you’re looking for an unpretentious place to watch a game and sip cheap drinks, check out Boomers Down the Hatch on N.O.’s Westbank.

My cousin, Raven, and I at Boomers Down the Catch on New Orleans’ Westbank.

I’m still doing what I’m supposed to being doing, because the whole point in giving this 30-day writing challenge a try is to make writing daily a habit. And, will ya looka there…

I’m writing!

Writing Prompt 16: Something That You Miss

I miss these booty cheeks clapping freely.

I suppose I’ve never been fully free, always living with someone in close proximity.

It went from parents, to roommates, to more roommates, more roommates, my final roommate, then landlords. The latter may be the most vexing.

It’s thoughtful and respectful to inform your roommates when you’re going to have company, especially of the opposite sex. However, it’s not required. There’s no requirement to pitch your plans then await their response, not knowing how you can move until they do. Continuously checking in with somebody gets annoying. It gets even more annoying when you’re grown, and exponentially increases the more you don’t like being told anything.

My grandmother used to always tell me, “see, lil’ girl, you, you don’t like to be told nothing!” No. No, I don’t, Granny. No, I don’t.

Extremely indecisive, for days, I’ve been waking up and going to sleep wondering where I’m going next. It got so bad with the back-and-forth in my mind that I said, “carry ya tail home, teekay.” Then, I was immediately hit with the feeling of “ugh,” not ready to return to my residence yet.

I miss traditional leasing.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely appreciate the feeling of family from leasing from a family. I take comfort in knowing that if I were to go missing, I wouldn’t be gone for long before my landlords are filing a missing persons report. I appreciate the occasional fresh-baked blueberry muffin. And, someone two steps away that can unlock my door, unclog my shower drain, or kill a spider for me, is definitely convenient. However, what I’m missing has begun to outweigh the perks.

I miss my privacy.

I miss my autonomy.

I miss me.

Buuuuuuuut, the most important benefit of leasing from a little old lady is the little old price. Whew! I live in a rather affluent neighborhood of Los Angeles and am pretty sure I pay less for my unit than anyone nearby for an equivalent space. I don’t want to give up my location and I for darn sure don’t want my rent to triple, nor quadruple.

If I made waaaaaaay more money, would I be willing to pay the ridiculous apartment building rent rates in Los Angeles? If I was signed on a lease to a more expensive residence, would I make more money?

I need to figure something. I don’t want to dread returning to where I pay rent.

Okay, we’re about to take some shots my cousin’s old man had the bartender bring over.

Later, my loves!

A Day in My Life: Thrilling! (Not Really)

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 15

I suppose today isn’t the day either.

I’m getting it together, y’all.

Maybe I’ll invest in a therapist or something soon.

Aïe aïe aïe!

What’s today?

Writing Prompt 14: Wait. Am I drunk right now? Do I ever get nervous? What did Lil’ Wayne say next? It’s not the 14th. I’m tripping. Let’s try this again.

Writing Prompt 15: Bullet point your whole day.

• tinkle winkle, chews up my cousin’s prenatal vitamins she’s about to throw away, drinks water, bats lashes

• jocing the phone for hours

• working on info to send out to travelers coming on a girls’ trip I’m planning

• more talking on the phone, this time FaceTime

• delete emails

• searching flights to fly my Granny out from down South to visit me

• searching flights for flights to Miami to American Black Film Festival

• searching travel arrangements for my cousin and her ol’ man and their baby for our Growe family reunion

• running my mouth

• rub-a-dub-dub in the tub-a-wub-wub, mm hm, scrub wub, mm mm! ugh, ugh, press curled index fingers into eyeball socket

Whoops, it’s 11:57pm! Shoot, we’re sitting back in their favorite hole-in-the-wall.

“TeeKay only got 3 minutes left.”

“Okay, we go’ chill for a second.”

• doing my best not to miss a day in this 30-day writing challenge

Later, my loves! 11:59pm

Don’t wait until tomorrow, maa’am.

Such a Sucker for Love

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 14

I’m tired. I’m chilling. I’m… I don’t know. I fell off? Darn it. I haven’t done a deep dive blog post in a few blog posts. Last-minute, before the clock strikes midnight, I rush to put some words on a page, barely fulfilling my daily goal of this 30-day writing challenge.

Me oh my. [sighs in self-disappointment]

What is today’s writing prompt?

Writing Prompt 14: Post your favorite movies that you never get tired of watching

Ou! I like this one. (It’s quick and easy. Shame.)

• Titanic

• Love and Basketball

• Taken

Okay, I’m being rude over my cousin’s place on the Westbank in New Orleans while they have company over. We’re about to watch a comedy standup by George Carlin titled “List of People Who Ought to Be Killed”. Sounds like my type of content!

Later, kids!

I Don’t Want It, But I Want It

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 13

I’m trying to decide how upset I want to be with myself for missing day 12. And I thought about it, yeah. Ugh! I kept clicking my phone to check the time as I moved around New Orleans, thinking “okay, cool, I’ll be able to do it when I leave here and yeah…” Well, no.

This morning, my head popped up from my cousin’s house on the Westbank, my jaw dropped, and my eyes darted towards my phone, “FUDGE!!” I exclaimed with a much more profane word.

Is it okay to get mad at yourself? Is it good to get mad at yourself? Is it productive to get mad at yourself? Or, should I lean towards the teachings of one of my favorite professors from UL, Dr. Caryn Winters, who was the first person to introduce me to the concept of positive self-speak?

I’ll decide later. For right now, before I leave the rooftop of Nopsi Hotel with my girl that’s here in New Orleans for SHRM 2022 and head to a hole-in-the-wall to catch whichever playoff game is today, let me pull up today’s writing prompt.

Writing Prompt 13: What are you excited about?

In a previous post of this 30-day writing challenge, I talked about the freedom in realizing that the purpose of life is simply to live. You don’t have to rush around trying to reach these imaginary requirements you’ve placed on yourself. As true as this is, it doesn’t negate the excitement of looking forward to the fruits of my labor.

Related: All I Have To Do Is Stay Black and Die

When I’m not thinking about romance, I’m thinking about my future. (And when I’m not thinking about one of those, I’m thinking about them both at the same, as naturally, the two often overlap.) I’m thinking about the results that the work I’m currently doing will bring.

I’ve spent hours, and will only continue to spend more, studying SEO for blogging, formatting blog posts, trying to figure out how to get more traffic, improving my writing strategies and more. I’m putting in the work because it’s what I want to do (not what I must do).

Though I refuse to stress myself out about crossing into the imaginary end zone of success, I do look forward to seeing points go up on the score board.

I’m excited about what God has in store for my writing future.

If I weren’t now in Funky 544, a noisy bar in the French Quarter of New Orleans, I’d likely go into further detail.

Let me find out you all are going to be thankful for my running around forcing short-windedness on me.

Talk to you later, kids!

Sex On The Brain

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 11

This is my current situation though.

Down home in New Orleans, I told my cousin she could leave baby with me for the day.

Oh my heavens, I’m starting later than my 11:11pm start yesterday.

Yes, I’m using babysitting as an excuse to procrastinate. I could’ve gotten stuff done at different points throughout the day while baby girl was otherwise entertained.

I have to press publish by midnight every single day to complete this 30-day writing challenge, and it’s currently 11:31pm. We can’t wait any longer.

[goes to WordPress graphic with list of writing prompts]

Writing Prompt 11: Something you always think “what if…” about

Well, most recently my “what if” reflections have been relating to romantic situations with us women’s biological match… a man.

Google, Siri, Alexa, one of y’all, play What Is It About Me by the late Amy Winehouse.

As I’ve mentioned in earlier writings of this 30-day writing challenge, I’m very reserved when it comes to intimacy. It's not as if I’m asexual, I’ll definitely want to partake in pleasurable activities, I just don’t.

This may be why I have no regrets. I have girlfriends who have done things and say we’re going to pretend it never happened because they wish they wouldn’t have. Possibly, it’s my overthinking of everything that has spared me some repenting.

Conversely, I’ll have thoughts of “what if I would’ve”. Though it may be for the best that I didn’t, it doesn’t stop me from wondering what if I did.

That’s a shame that out of all the “what if” situations I could’ve said, that topic was the first to come to mind.

Child, let me go read my Bible or something because I for sure don’t want one of these things I’m tending to just yet.

---

This is where I would close by asking you to share, but don’t share this. I don’t even know why you’re seeing this. Y’all kids be good, I’ll talk to you later.

Yeah, I Got Something To Say

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 10

Whew! It’s 11:11pm, make a wish! (Where did that even come from? Let me not get distracted by going look it up). My wish is that I successfully complete this 30-day writing challenge and come out a better writer on the other end.

Yesterday, I told you that I’d be heading to my next destination today. What I didn’t know is that I would be behind the steering wheel from before 8am to almost 4pm. Enjoying my last night in Houston, I stayed up super late, then had to be up before the sun to meet one of my girlfriends from college with whom I was riding… well, driving.

Child, I didn’t think I was going to make it at one point when these eyelids got to getting heavy heavy. Stopping to get us breakfast from Chik-fil-A may have saved me.

Now I’m sitting on my cousin’s couch in New Orleans, in the same spot I've been since arriving here. Your girl was tired. I didn’t feel like blogging, but I’m not about to fall off this 30-day writing challenge.

It’s 11:28pm now and I’m pressing publish before midnight.

Let’s see what the list of 30 writing prompts (via a WordPress graphic) has for me today.

Writing Prompt 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly

I’m high-strung about anything from abortion to cereal.

Having an opinion about EVERYTHING, I have worked any one of my friends’ nerves at some point during my fervent rants. Shoot, I work my own nerves sometimes. I have something to say about everything, and majority of the time, I don’t know how not to say it, as I revealed in the previous prompt about aspects of myself with which I struggle.

Related: I’m A F’d Up Individual

Darn, it’s already 11:44pm, and I need to publish by midnight. Hm, what can I say that won’t take me all day?

I feel strongly about…

Children. Family. Health. Black business. Wealth distribution. Sustainability. Women. Girls. Culture. Society.

See what I mean? There’s so much I feel strongly about, and so much that falls under what I feel strongly about. (I suppose that’s why I added an opinion column to my personal lifestyle blog, to get up on my soapbox and go in).

Related: aroundLAwithTK Opinion Column

We need to pay more attention to the way we raise our children and realize the depth of how their childhood will effect the adult member of society they become.

Billionaires should NOT exist. There is no such thing as a “good” billionaire. Hoarding wealth is freaking gross.

Places for women should remain for natural-born women. Extending rights to others shouldn’t infringe upon the rights of women.

Whoops! 11:59pm. [Jimmy Neutron voice] Gotta blast!

All I Gotta Do Is Stay Black and Die

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 9

Day 9, baybeeeeeeeee! Whew! I’m sitting here at my girl’s place in Houston, drinking a green smoothie I made with the last of my groceries I bought for my stay.

For over a week, I managed to turn TF up for my girl’s twenty-fine (as I claim to have coined it for our friend group), spend one-on-one time with a couple of folks, watch some TED talks, still get some good music listening time in, and get this 30-day writing challenge off to a good start. As I said yesterday, in Day 8’s blog post intro, it may seem simple, but it is NOT! I promise.

Tomorrow morning, I get on the road to head to my next destination, and after the productivity I’ve maintained in Houston, I’m feeling pretty confident it’ll continue.

I wonder what today has in store for me. Please, let it be a writing prompt that I can complete within the intended 30-minute time limit. Or, should I ask myself to please complete the piece within 30 minutes no matter the writing prompt? Yeah, it’s on me, not the random WordPress graphic listing 30 writing prompts.

[goes to camera roll] [sets timer]

Writing Prompt 9: Post some words of wisdom that speak to you.

A slight grin comes across my face.

Being raised in the church, by a once too-hot-to-trot grandmother, Bible verses or old adages of church folks immediately come to my mind.

What God has for me is for me.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

All in due time, baby. You just keep the faith.

These encouraging statements, in a time where I’m giving so much of my mental space to building a blog into a brand into a business, likely come to me because I need them.

I need to believe that a higher power has placed these gifts within me to be used and that I will eventually see the fruits of my labor. I need to believe that the fight to get to the first page of Google will turn out in my favor. I need to believe that blog success is in my future, and millions of eyes will one day see my words, as long as I keep believing.

Though it is hopeful, I need to believe none of this at all. And that, that is comforting.

The meaning of life is just to be alive.
It is so plain and so obvious and so simple.
And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.

- Alan Watts, writer

I can write simply because that is how I live.

Putting my words on a public forum doesn’t add the requirement that I have to reach some sort of “success” with my writing. I don’t have to get X amount of website pageviews by Y date. I don’t have to gain an email subscriber list longer than all the ancient scribes of Egypt. Even when my blog does become monetized, I don’t have to generate this many dollars in ad revenue, nor that many dollars by affiliate links.

Yes, I want success. It’s a dream to be able to pay my rent in Los Angeles via blog income while sitting on an island in the Caribbean on vacation. When I’m giving the girls my secrets on how I grow healthy hair or trim belly fat, sure, it would be nice to get the stuff I’m already paying for for free or to get paid to put others on it. I’d feel like I’m actually putting my broadcast journalism degree to use if a company invited me to their event to do a write-up on it or cover their carpet. These are opportunities I want to do, not that I have to do.

Requirements only exist when I’ve given them to myself.

All I gotta do is stay Black and die.

It’s one of those quirky #thingsBlackpeoplesay, but it’s true. All I must do is live in this body and die in it. Now, if you take that the wrong way, and go off the deep end, it can be depressing (to think life has no purpose). However, if you look at it from another perspective, it’s pressure-lifting.

I don’t have to do a got darn thing but live. There’s no rush. There’s no pressure.

Recently coming across that Alan Watts quote, about the meaning of life being to be alive, it spoke to me deeply as I’m swiftly on my way out of my beloved twenties and into a panic attack about not being where I “should” be by now.

Mm mn, I rebuke that.

I’m living. That’s all I have to do.

My living looks like writing.

Writing is how my brain processes life, always has been.. way back to childhood when I’d pull the closet door closed, sit atop my shoes and below my clothes, putting myself in a timeout no one ordered, scribbling in the darkness.

If it weren’t here on this personal website, it would be somewhere else. The Spirit led me to bring it here. Maybe one day my words will be the script of a box office hit, or a bestselling book. I don’t know and I’m not forcing it.

Right now, I’m just writing.. just living… and that’s all I have to do.

Hey, hey, hey now. Just because I said I’m not forcing it, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to share it. I’m not going to force you either. What I will do is ask nicely. Please, share these words of wisdom about the meaning of life by sending this link to someone that you know. If that’s too personal, share it on one of your public profiles.

I appreciate you, riders. Thank you for being here.

You Gon Make a Heaux Outta Me

A hoe I’ll be
[shoulder shrugs]

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 7

You don’t know how relieved I am to have opened the WordPress graphic with the 30 writing prompts and find today’s a very simple one.

Completing yesterday’s writing challenge prompt rolled over into today. I’m leaving another birthday dinner for the same girlfriend we turned up for in Houston this whole past weekend, and we’re headed to another bar, so I needed this to be a quickie.

List 10 songs you’re loving right now

1. Girl Like Me
   artist: Jazmine Sullivan
   featured artist: H.E.R.
   album: Heaux Tales
   released: 2021

2. F*ck the World (Summer in London)
   artist: Brent Faiyaz
   album: Fck The World
   released: 2019

3. Gorgeous
   artist: SAINt JHN
   album: While The World Was Burning
   released: 2020

4. Bigger Picture
   artist: Lil’ Baby
   album: My Turn
   released: 2020

5. Pretty Little Fears
   artist: 6lack
   album: East Atlanta Love Letter
   released: 2018

6. Pride Is The Devil

   artist: J. Cole
   featured artist: Lil’ Baby
   album: The Off-Season
   released: 2021

7. Wasted

   artist: Summer Walker
   album: Clear
   released: 2019

8. Shea Butter Baby

   artist: Ari Lennox
   featured artist: J. Cole
   album: Shea Butter Baby
   released: 2019

9. Nasty Nasty

   artist: Boosie Badazz
   featured artist: Mulatto
   album: Talk Dat Shit
   released: 2019

10. Higher

    artist: Tems
    album: For Broken Ears
    released: 2020

These are in no particular order and not necessarily my top 10 favorite songs, but definitely songs I’ve been vibing along to lately. My music taste is rather throwback, usually. I tried to list current popping songs, or songs that people are listening to in 2022.

Okay, my girl Gab just asked, “girl what are you doing?!” as we’re trying to cross the street midtown Houston. Let me press publish and talk to y’all later, riders!

---

Update: I returned the following day to add song details such as featured artists, albums and release dates to make this blog post a little more substantial for SEO purposes; it probably won’t help me get listed on the first page of Google for any of these big titles, however, I hope it’ll help differentiate my detailed and fact-checked personal blog website from crappy sites trying to clog up the pipeline. There’s no way I knew the track information off the top of my head; I came back and looked it up.

Dang, I guess I’m still not that up-to-date as I look at these release dates. Haha, ah well!

Oui, oui! That’ll Be Me

30-day writing challenge, day 5

Whew, it’s Sunday fun-day, but a blog post has to get up every single day for thee entire month during this 30-day writing challenge.

I’ve had a few adult beverages. We’re leaving one spot and headed to another, only 6 minutes away at this point. Let me quickly find that WordPress graphic with the 30 writing prompts.

List 5 places you want to visit.

Well, look at God, giving me an easy one in a time where I didn’t give myself time to get something up here, on my personal blog website.

1. Sénégal

2. Saint Tropez

3. Réunion

4. Martinique

5. Saint Lucia

I’m currently squeezing muscles in my pelvic area with all my might, trying to resist my body alerting me that I need to empty my bladder.

We’re looking for a parking spot now. Talk to you later, my Riders 💗

For travels I’ve already taken, or to be the first to hear about these when I go (because I will), visit my travel diary, aroundLAwithTK.com/travel-diary.

My Girlfriends Will Have Me Making Bad Decisions

Post-before-last, of this 30-day writing challenge, “Words That Stuck With Me From My First Boyfriend”, you were greeted by an image of said individual. I enjoy my girlfriends thoroughly, but when I hit the timer to begin writing about a person that inspires me, none of them ended up coming thru my fingertips, though I’m sure I can think of ways these lovely ladies have inspired me (even if it was to make a bad decision). Continue reading and you’ll see why I chose to come back and add this image and title for this blog post.

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 4

It’s Saturday evening, 8:30pm and I’m running to a reservation for a girlfriend’s birthday. The GPS says we’re only 12 minutes away and I don't like sitting on my phone in public social settings, so I won’t even spend a fraction of the time on this writing prompt as I’ve spent on prompts the first 3 days of this 30-day writing challenge.

Even while running the streets, even if I don’t finish, I’m getting something up here on my personal blog website every single day of this month.

Related: Girl’s Weekend in Houston (TikTok video)

Write About Someone That Inspires You

Whoah, this is a tough one too. There are a number of people that thoroughly inspire me. I truly adore some of the souls I’ve crossed paths with during this short visit on Earth.

My Teedie Terri, my mom’s youngest sister, has a way of connecting with anyone from the most prim and proper to the roughest of the rough.

My cousin Rashan tends to a husband, 5 children, 2 bonus babies, while working a full-time job, investing time and resources into side businesses/passions, and maintains close relationships with friends and family.

I told you all a little bit about my grandmother’s struggle-riddled life in a previous writing challenge blog post. She’s definitely someone that’s always inspired me, even when we were at odds throughout my entire adolescence. If my previous personal website hadn’t expired and deleted all of my content, I’d insert an excerpt from a piece I wrote on her that I titled “My Motivation”.

Related: My Grandmother’s Laughter, and Other Things That Make Me Really Happy

Oop! We’re parked. It's time to take shots, and strut into this spot.

I’ll take to you all later, my Riders ❤️

Unfollowing People That Post Newborn Babies On Social Media, They're All Ugly

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 3

Well, I’m doing it. I can’t say how well I’m doing, but I’m doing it.

A few weeks ago, I said for the upcoming month, I’d do a month-long writing challenge. The idea was/is that I’ll spend 30 minutes per day, for 30 days, writing on a writing prompt. I found a list of 30 writing prompts on the good ol’ Googler in the form of a WordPress blog graphic. Nice and easy, I saved it to my phone.

The first day of the writing challenge, I was on an Amtrak train ride that I’d book that same morning. I spent a couple of hours or so writing on the train. After being picked up from the Amtrak station downtown Houston, stopping at HEB to make sure I had something to eat in the morning, and making it to my girlfriend’s place near the Galleria, I opened up my computer around 10pm and picked up where I left off. I didn’t close my computer until 3am.

Related: These 10 Things Are Sure to Turn a Frown Upside Down (30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 1)

Oh, don’t you worry, it’s not over. I woke up on day 2 of the 30-day writing challenge and continued working on day 1’s blog post! Ugh. I must’ve got started around 11am and didn’t close my computer to go to her apartment’s gym until about 7pm. WTF?! What happened to 30 minutes per day for 30 days?! How many hours was that? Look, math has never been my strong subject, I’m not even about to exert myself trying to figure that out. All I know is that that was WAY too long to work on what was supposed to be a quickie blog post. There’s no way I’ll make it to the end of this 30-day writing challenge at that rate. No way.. not with my sanity, nor dark-circle-free eyes, that’s for sure.

After returning from a much needed 45 minutes of cardio, I washed my hair and actually got to the day 2 part of day 2 of the writing challenge. A mess, child, a mess. I set my timer, but do you think I stopped when it went off? Not a chance. At least this time I only sat in front of this computer screen from right before midnight to a little after 2am. [Lifts fingers to count] Midnight.. one.. two.. Ou! I only spent about 2.5 hours to get yesterday’s writing challenge blog post up! Aye, that’s progress.

Related: Words That Stuck With Me From My First Real Boyfriend (30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 2)

Today is day 3 and my girl that I’m staying by is about to throw some straight-back braids in my hair for me, so I’m stopping when this timer goes off, and that’s that.

Oh my heavens, it’s down to only 7 minutes left. Let me hurry and answer this writing prompt.

What Are Your Top 3 Pet Peeves?

Being raised by a grandmother with very bad nerves, I think I unfortunately inherited quite a bit of her irritability. It may be difficult for me to narrow it down to a mere top 3 pet peeves. We’re down to 5 minutes now, though, so let’s go with whatever comes to my mind first.

1.Unnecessary Lies

There’s nothing more I despise than a liar.

Does lying even count as a pet peeve? It’s a character trait that I absolutely loathe, it’s more than a pet peeve. I tend to be a rather honest person, sometimes too honest, people say, making it hard to compute in my mind why people to choose lie in certain situations.

Majority of the time, lies are unnecessary. I would go further into detail, but the timer is down below 2 minutes and I still have two more point to list. Ahh!

Lie Craig GIFfrom Lie GIFs

Hm, what else really, really vexes my nerves? I mean, I don’t like when people wear white socks with black shoes, and… [timer goes off and I press repeat] I can’t help but to stare in people’s mouth when they have plaque buildup. How do you brush your teeth? You’ve never flossed in your life? When was the last time you let a dentist in your mouth (and I don’t mean after a wild night at the bar)?

2. Pictures of newborn babies on social media

No one wants to see the little alien that came out of your vagina two seconds ago.

Why do people post pictures of newborn babies online?

They should be marked as sensitive content. It’s disturbing.

Anytime a picture of a barely fully formed human appears on one of my social media news feeds, the corners of my lips slide towards my chin revealing a slight opening in my mouth.

“Look how pretty!! That baby is gorgeous!!” LIES! We’re back to pet peeve number one. Babies fresh out of the womb all look like the extraterrestrial version of a naked mole rat.

At least give that baby a chance to develop some features, goodness. Small babies don’t even have defined facial characteristics yet. What are you saying?!

When I’m in a group message and someone sends a picture of their new baby, or I’m out somewhere and someone shows me a picture of a new baby, or the new baby is in front of me, and I feel the need to say something, I’m not telling any lies. I say, “well thank God for a healthy delivery. Amen somebody!” Or something along those lines that relates to the appreciation for the miracle of new life. I’m not going to do the polite, or politically correct thing to do, which is lie.

“Doesn’t he look just like his dad already?!” No, hoe! He looks like puddy, please go away.

Ugly Baby GIFfrom Ugly GIFs

I’m with my sis, Tay, on this one, who has never shared pictures of the three kids she birthed before their first birthday, at the earliest. And even then, she still doesn’t go wild turning her public profiles into shrines of her children. Ugh, that’s another whole pet peeve right there. No offense, but a lot of y’all new mothers are annoying aye eff.

Whew, 5 minutes left on the timer after having restarted it, giving myself another 30, and this time, I’m stopping when that time goes off for real. I’ll only come back to add images, hyperlinks, SEO, and all that jazz.

Let’s see. What should be the final item on this list of 3 of my many pet peeves?

Dang, I had to press repeat on my 30-minute timer again, and that was after pausing it to brainstorm for a good 30 minutes. … Got diggity dawg, I still can’t remember what I was about to say. What in the world is wrong with my brain? Do I need Ritalin, or whatever it is they give all these kids these days that are slapped with the diagnosis of ADHD? Back in my day (talking as if I’m not only in my twenties), medical professionals were passing out diagnoses of ADHD; parents were passing out a** whippings! Maybe that’s my problem, my brain cells were beat out of me.

3. Half-a** listeners

People that overly and quickly agree with everything both make me raise an eyebrow.

For one, I’m wondering if you have a mind of your own. Then, I’m wondering if you’re actively listening to what I’m saying, or if you’re simply hearing me and responding (without processing what I’m saying from my perspective).

Say like my grandmother, “you’re half a** listening.”

I’m going to use my sis, Tay, as an example here as well because a very trivial example of this happened the other day. My every day bag is a Goyard Saint Louis. Her every day bag is a Louis Vuitton Neverfull. They’re both spacious top-handle totes by long-standing French luxury design houses. They are even right around the same price point. They’re similar, but not the same. Some kind of way, we were in her Cadillac and the topic of bags must’ve come up, and I don’t think she had hers on her at the moment. I said, “what I like about your Louis is how structured it is; that type of bag goes well with my conservative style of dress, as opposed to my very malleable Goyard that’s more flowy, Free People vibes.” This got darn girl go’on say, “oh yeah, girl, I know exactly what you mean, my Louis collapses just like that” as she looked over at my bag in my lap. I said, “no, it doesn’t.” She responded, “yes, it does,” and this went on for some minutes.

A couple days later, we were somewhere and our bags happened to be next to one another. “Now Taylor.. tell me your bag is just as unstructured as mine…” I said as I gave her a look as to say, “come on, na, b****.” [inserts side-eye emoji] She started laughing as she realized what I was saying with my original comment, “ohhhhh, no. Yeah, they are different. Dang.”

Now, as I said, this is extremely trivial. Neither one of us care at all about the amount of difference or similarity between our every day tote bags; that’s not something that matters. This is only an example to show that when a person is solely listening to respond (not to understand), or too quickly assimilates, information is missed. Communication is lost. You’re not really listening, because if you were actively listening in the first place, you would’ve understood.

When confiding in someone about a personal matter, or sharing a tough experience, is where half-a** listening really grinds my freaking gears!! Imagine talking to someone about your grandfather dying and that person responds, “yes, I know, that’s exactly how it was when my grandfather died back in 2004. Mm hm, yeah girl.” WHAT?! You aren’t even actively listening to ME; you’re in your head about you. Half-a** listening is dismissive, and I’ll never talk to you about an emotional or serious topic again.

Online or offline, if you have a habit of doing any one of these top three pet peeves, baby, you gotta go.

And right now, I gotta go. I think I’ve pressed restart on my timer another 2 or 3 times. This was only supposed to be a quick 30-minute writing session on my 30-day writing challenge prompt, and how many hours has it been? My Lord, I hope swiftness finds me, because as much as I enjoy the finished product, mama can’t sit in front of this computer screen all day, every day. I have to continue to go live life in order to continue to write about life.

If you’re a fellow blogger or writer, feel free to drop me some writing tips in the comment section below. I want to come out of this 30-day writing challenge a better writer and I’m not too good for guidance.

Do any of these pet peeves work your nerves as well?

Drop a hint to that one annoying friend by sharing this blog post as a status on Facebook, or a tweet on Twitter. Or, if you’re like me, send them the link directly in a text message.

Thank you for being here, my Riders ♥

Words That Stuck With Me From My First Real Boyfriend

(Above photo: I recently invested in a Chromebook for blogging, and by signing in, I found a slew of old pictures in my Google Photos. It seems they’re camera roll uploads to Google’s cloud from my pre-iPhone days. This particular image says it’s from October 2011, and if you read the title to this blog post and thought “that must be a picture of the author and her first boyfriend,” ding! ding! ding! You got it.)

30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 2

It’s 11:41pm and I’m only now sitting down to churn out a blog for day two of this 30-day writing challenge. I’m supposed to complete one of the writing prompts, from a WordPress blog graphic I found online, every single day in the month of June. Yesterday, I spent entirely too much time on the writing prompt, just like I used to do during standardized testing back in secondary school, which caused me to spend all of day 2 finishing day 1’s prompt. I’m skilled, but I’m slow. Hopefully by the completion of this 30-day writing challenge, I’ll have picked up some speed.

Write Something That Someone Told You About Yourself That You Never Forgot

Oop! Now it’s 11:47pm, giving me all of 10 minutes to answer this writing prompt. Either way the cookie crumbles, I’m pressing publish by midnight. Think, T.K., think.

What is something that someone has told you about yourself that you never forgot?

Darn, four more minutes have passed and I still haven’t thought of anything in particular. I suppose I’ll keep typing to type, because referencing grade school again, didn’t they say that writing something was better than leaving the question blank? At least I’ll be able to give myself partial credit for this blog post.

I’ll always be alright.

There it is. That’s the something that someone told me about myself that I never forgot.

My first everything, Gary, taught me so many things about myself. I think about him when that song by Estelle plays that says, “and I thank you for making me a woman.” From ways of thinking to self-maintenance as a young lady, I learned so much from that man.

[It’s 11:59pm and I’m pressing publish, so everything from this point on is cheating a little bit, but now that a response to this writing prompt has come to me, I at least have to finish the thought.]

What could a man have taught me about self-maintenance as a woman?

I know this is slightly off-topic, and that’s probably a part of my problem, but I must explain. For example, no man had seen my lady parts before him, and I didn’t have a close relationship with any mother figure as a teenager, so beyond keeping my girl clean and I what I learned in Honors Anatomy and Physiology, I didn’t know much about down there.

This is way too much information, but hopefully no one I know personally will read these daily writing prompts.

Though I’ve been shaving my legs since having to wear a skirt for pep squad in 6th grade, it never dawned on me to remove the hairs from between my legs because that area wasn’t ever visible to anyone. We’ve laughed about it since, and he has denied it, but he went down there when it was a forest. Though we were “best friends” my senior year in high school, we didn’t become boyfriend-girlfriend and make the move into physical intimacy until I was well into college. So here I was, living on my own, paying rent, maintaining a household, thinking I’m a woman, yet with a baby kitty below that was in need of grooming.

My first serious boyfriend was the first person to take me to get a Brazilian wax.

He was some years older than me, and much more experienced, if you know what I mean. I remember making some sort of comment implying that I was going to continue getting waxes for him and he stopped me dead in my tracks, “nah, this is for you; you do this for you whether I’m going down there or not.” It was these sorts of lessons I learned about being a lady from him. (And now, approaching a decade later, even when cobwebs are collecting, hair removal from my private areas is a part of my routine self-maintenance.)

Let’s get back on topic.

Back in college, my first real boyfriend told me something about myself that I never forgot.

It’s now 12:42am and I refuse to stay up on this computer typing until 3am the way I did for day 1 of this 30-day writing challenge. [Sets timer for 15 minutes]

“One thing about you, T.K., you go’on always be alright.”

Before dating, Gary and I were the best of friends. We hung out often, as one of his closest homeboys lived three doors down from my grandmother’s house; my grandmother knew this neighbor (Gary’s best friend’s mom, and knew she’d be home), and for that reason alone, she’d let me spend my evenings over there, an arm reach away from her. What she didn’t know is that there was a boy sniffing around my lil’ butt over there.

I told him more than I told anyone, and he told me plenty too. He immediately knew when my clothes were thrown out of my grandmother’s house. He was there to pick me up from work at the outlet mall when my people were in a mood and would refuse, leaving me standing on the sidewalk before the locked store doors looking like a motherless child. He witnessed the tumultuous interactions between me and my family. He watched me work to pay for anything I wanted to do at school, from prom to graduation fees and college applications. He loaded up his Tahoe with my belongings and moved me off to college when my parental figures had washed their hands with me. I was still an adolescent child then, and those were very crucial moments to the building of my character, to the making of the young adult I was becoming, and he was there for it all.

Years later, (we weren’t even in a relationship anymore, if I remember correctly,) when Gary told me that I’d always be alright, he meant it, because he’d seen it.. and I felt it.

And I will.

Tenacity is one trait that I’m most thankful for. It felt good for it to be recognized in me by someone else, and it’s also very inspiring to be believed in, making that simple comment from my first real boyfriend stick with me forever.

I’ll always be alright.

Related: 5 Ways to Win My Heart

---

Note: I don’t like talking to people about personal hardships, that’s why I write; I’m not good at talking about them, yet I want to get it out. Hopefully SEO will bring random surfers on the web, that I’ll never meet in-person, to these writings. I want them to be seen because it’s really good stuff (not to toot my own horn, but toot! toot!), just by strangers. If you are someone I know offline and you feel the urge to bring up something shared here the next time we talk… Hmm… Let’s not. But thank you so much for being here!!

Child, it’s after 2am. Goodnight.

Riders, do your girl a solid and text the link to this blog post to someone right now. I’ll talk to you later!