Three Things My Child Needs To Know
Dragging my feet, child. Dragging my feet.
30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 21
Wait, don’t they say it takes 21 days to form a habit? Does me making it to the 21st day of this 30-day writing challenge mean that I now have a habit of writing daily? Am I on my way to putting out copious amounts of prolific writing to be loved and adored by the world?! Too far? Calm it down? Okay, whatever.
[Heads to WordPress graphic in my camera roll to see today’s writing prompt]
I wish it weren’t already 15 ‘til the hour with me trying to press publish by midnight. This is a good one.
Writing Prompt: What three lessons do you want your children to learn from you?
Currently raising myself, I’m having all sorts of extensive thoughts about how I want to raise the child I’ll one day bear. I say child, singular, now, after wanting 6 kids once upon a time, because of how deeply I think into the gentle molding of a young into an adult.
First of all: Don’t be a f*** up, kid.
There are a lot of f***** up people in this world, and majority of it is a result of their f***** up childhood. Parents really f*** children in all sorts of ways they don’t always realize, then that broken child walking around inside of an adult body has to try their best to fix it.
I don’t want to f*** my child up, that’s it. My goals as a future parent aren’t insanely high.
I want to raise a fully functioning adult that will be a contributing member of society.
Maybe I’ll become a lunatic parent after the baby passes thru my puss and boots, demanding they figure out how to sustain life on Mars, but as of now, I’m praying I’ll raise a good person.
As long as my kid learns these three lessons from me, my kid won’t be a f*** up:
Be joyous in all things.
Failure is not an option.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
(Yes, my time ran out. I went ahead and cheated by pressing publish for this 21st writing prompt to be dated the 21st. I know. I’m weird. Let’s continue.)
Lesson 1. Be joyous in all things.
I want my child to have my joyous spirit.
People always tell me that I seem like I’m always happy and it’s because I am. Now, listen, I’m as sensitive as the next girl and can fly off the handle with a QUICKNESS, but once it has flown, it’s gone. I say what I have to say, I do what I have to do, I handle what I have to handle, then I’m right back to being my happy-go-luck self. I probably couldn’t stay mad if I tried.
Even in dark situations, I can find a glimmer of happiness and frolic in it as if I have all the light on the equator.
Having a positive outlook on life is life-changing.
There’s beauty in everything. There’s a reason to be grateful in everything. There’s not a thing that can steal my joy. “Bad luck” isn’t in control of anything around here, honey. Fortune hath not one place to hit me.
I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me.
What?! It’s in me! It’s not on me, it’s in me. It’s not around me, it’s in me. It’s not attached to me, it’s IN ME!
I have that in me.
Do you understand what I’m saying? I need you to feel this, because I felt it when I first heard it in a TED Talk by social psychologist Dan Gilbert. I had to stop the video, rewind, play it again, rewind one more time, then take a screenshot of the quote on the screen. It hit the nail on the head sealing the box of my feelings.
The clothes on my body don’t make me happy, the content of my heart does. The city I’m living in doesn’t make me happy, the way I live in it does. The title I have doesn’t make me happy, the way I operate does. I can turn whatever into whatever because it is in me. And there’s not a thing that can take that away.
I want my little girl to have that in her, or my little boy to have that in him.
Lesson 2. Failure is not an option.
Baby, you can do whatever your little heart may desire, but failing ain’t one of ‘em.
This is a mantra borrowed from my alma mater, St. James High School, when I was living in lil’ ol’ Vacherie, Louisiana. They had those words, “failure is not an option”, printed in various places, from brochures to banners.
In my secondary school days, I never once ever thought “what if I can’t…” Ain’t no can’t! It’s “better figure out how you can”. I don’t recall ever wondering if something would be too hard, if I didn’t have the skill-set, or if I didn’t have the money. My thought process would be more along the lines of “hmm.. I don’t have this, I wonder what I can do.” When I couldn’t cheer, one because of my disciplinary record and two because I didn’t have the thousand bucks upfront the team required, I started my own band auxiliary team with my own rules and fundraisers. When I transferred to a school without higher level French class offerings, I pressed the issue and got my own class. I would recognize where I’m lacking, what could possibly stop me, then come up with a solution to work around it.
There is always an option. Failure is not one.
I want my child to have the confidence to go after his or her desires, then the perseverance to keep at it regardless the obstacle.
Lesson 3. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
One of the best compliments I received from a girlfriend was during a birthday wish where she said “I love the way you love people,” and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t referring to me simply being a people-person. I actually love people, I love on them, actively. I go to great lengths to show my love for people. I profess it. I demonstrate it. I love on people as if I were people loving on me.
I know the Bible verse, “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37–39), is referring to not being malicious in general. Don’t steal, don’t kill, that 10 commandment type of stuff. However, when I say it, I’m talking beyond the basic “respect your fellow man” concept. I’m talking about giving love, to those close to you, the way you’d want to be given love.
Maybe I could’ve come up with a better adage for the notion I’m trying to convey, but it’s well after 2 o’clock in the morning at this point and my eyelids are growing far too heavy to continue typing.
Also, in a real blog post, I close with a summary, or all-encompassing thought. Should these be that? Am I too lax during this self-challenge to write daily? Ah, well..
Goodnight, riders. See ya on the next post of this 30-day writing challenge.
