Treat Me Like I'm Your Baby, And I Will Be
30-Day Writing Challenge, Day 6
I took a different approach today. And I’ll pick it up tomorrow.
[Returns the following morning to actually complete writing prompt for day 6.]
There’s a 5-day work week for a reason, right? People need time off to do their jobs better. If you blast away at one thing, all day, every day, how long will that last? I’m trying to build a sustainable habit. I could’ve stayed up last night while my eyelids were heavy and my body was yearning to recline, and forced something out, but would that have made my fatigue roll right over to when I’m trying to write the next day? I suppose the partying all weekend didn’t help me either. But hey, we’re here. I’m going to complete this 30-day writing challenge.
Whew child, the 6th writing prompt of this 30-day writing challenge is trying to put me in my feelings.
Write about 5 ways to win your heart.
I spread 5 sticky notes beside me on my girlfriend’s glass dining table, scribbling down thoughts as they came to my mind, as a 5-minute timer counted down. I had to restart the timer a good 3 or 4 times, and that’s okay. Twenty minutes of brainstorming is better than staring at a blank computer screen for twenty minutes, which I’m no stranger to when writing.
I’m giving myself over to you
body and soul, I’m giving it over
Giving myself over to youJennifer Hudson, “Giving Myself”
While thinking about ways to win my heart, when drawing a blank, I thought about those that have won my heart… and why. What did they do that made me want to give myself over to them?
Not having traversed many waters, the explorations I have to reference are limited. This disclaimer is to say that I am not “stuck” on my first boyfriend “from how ever many years ago”, as my girlfriends have teased when we’re on a related topic and I cite my relationship with him. I’ll speak from both what I’ve experienced and what I would like to experience from future love interests.
5 ways to win a woman’s heart are:
Like her
Laugh with her
Take care of her
Teach her
Give her yours
By “a woman’s heart”, I mean mine. And by “her”, I mean me.
I’m no Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist. I’m no love guru. I’m no relationship expert. But I am a girl with a whole lot of heart, that feels very deeply, that has a working understanding of why I feel the ways I do.
Here’s how to win her heart.
1. Like her
Take the frown out of your eyebrows and let me explain.
It seems simple, yet it’s often undone. We’ll say we like something, we want something, while knowing nothing about that something.
“I like you.” They say.
“Boy, you don’t know what you like.” My smart aleck mouth often responds.
Because what is it that you like??
You like what you see? You like what you think we could be? No, I need you to like ME! Have you caught a glimpse of the deeper workings of my personality? Can you point out how my right eye closes slightly tighter than my left when something doesn’t sound right? Or what seems to make me uptight?
Do you see my caring ways, how family-oriented I am, or the way I respond in various situations? Do you see what makes me me? When I say “like her”, I want you to like me for me, for the person that I am, not merely the vessel in which I’m moving around the world.
If it’s my body that you like, what is it about my body that you like? Liking me more intensely is a way to my heart. | photo credit: Amazon
Yes, okay, I understand men are visual creatures. And baby, you can rest assured I’ll always maintain myself to be a treat for the eye. I’ve never been a “looks don’t matter” person; I’m going to make sure the outside is hitting right. So there, what is it that you like? Be specific when it comes to my physical appearance. Have you noticed a particular detail about the way I carry myself? Is there one part of my body that really ignites you? What is it? Tell me what you like.
Then, after the cute characteristics, what happens with the nitty gritty? When I have a sassy attitude, can you handle it? Do you like it too? When my less than favorable ways rear their ugly head, will what you like about me outweigh what you don’t? You’re willing and able to suffer when I’m insufferable?
When a man appreciates the good, the bad, and the ugly about me, it makes me want to give him my heart.
2. Laugh with her
“Oh my goodness, well, um… I like a guy that can make me laugh” says every girl ever.
I’m not tripping if a man isn’t funny himself, because I’m a whole clown. Being around me, one thing we’re going to do is laugh. There’s no worry there.
Let’s be big a** children together. That’s the way to my heart. | photo credit: Twitter
When I say that I want a man to laugh with me, I’m saying that I don’t want him to take himself or me too seriously. I want us to be able to relax together. Say something that’s otherwise inappropriate. Don’t freak out when I’m not politically correct. In each other’s company, let’s let down any facades we put on for the outside world.
The freshness of laughing together like the little children we are on the inside is a solid pathway to my heart.
3. Take care of her
Yes, I know I wrote an entire soliloquy supporting hypergamy, but this way to a woman’s heart isn’t only about what a man can do from a superior financial standing.
Related: Reasons Why Hypergamy Makes Sense
At its core, taking care of a woman is about anticipating her needs and meeting them. A man has to pay attention to the woman he’s pursuing to figure out those needs.
For me, it looks like a foot rub if I’ve been working event gigs 8 hours a day for the past 8 days. Or a back massage after I’ve sat in front of a computer screen with my arms positioned onto a keyboard for 261 hours working on this got darn personal blog website (that ain’t paid me yet). And you can never go wrong with asking a woman if she’s hungry, then feeding her. You get bonus points if I don’t have to tell you what I want to eat and you come up with something I like. (It goes back to actually knowing me, knowing me enough to really like me.)
Now, I told you it isn’t all about provisions, however, I would be remiss I didn’t mention this sizable aspect of taking care of a woman. If you’re one of those men whose bootyhole starts clenching at the mention of money, please loosen up or move along. Me, nor any of my girls, are your type if your pockets are off limits or nonexistent.
The Ten Thousand Building, get your ass an apartment
Put you inside a G-Class, that's just a starter kit
Plenty things count in life, but none of them is a thought of itDrake on “Wasting Time” by Brent Faiyaz
If Forbes and other Internet resources are right, Drake’s net worth is around 180 million dollars. I’m no mathematician, but if according to Investopedia the minimum net worth of the top 1% is roughly $11.1 million, ain’t too many UP DEA whea Drake at! Excuse the ebonics, but whew! Translation: The amount of men financially able to do what a Drake can do for a woman is a very, very, VERY small fraction of the population.
I am in no way saying that it takes a high rise condo in Los Angeles or Miami and a luxury foreign whip to win a woman’s heart. Some of my peers seem to be internalizing City Girl lyrics, but trust me, fellas, you do not “Gotta spend a hundred [thousand] if you really want it flewed out”. They’re getting way wilder for way less. They must only be talking that hot sh*t to hear themselves talk.
You girls seriously thinking that.. expecting that.. you are delusional. Please don’t put all your eggs in that basket, and if you do, if you do luck up, please be prepared to greatly compromise your standards (and morals) in other areas.
You don’t have to ball out like Lil’ Baby, but you gotta do something.
What’s realistic is a man doing what’s within his reasonable reach. Make me a part of your budget. You have disposable income, your pursuits for a woman should fill up some of that space. Don’t spend all your money on Casamigos and Hookah, unless of course that’s the way to the heart of the woman you want.
It’s about actionable items (on your level).
Take care of her in ways that you can take care of her.. or, in ways that she takes care of herself (because Lord knows these girls are getting good for expecting energy they don’t even possess. How you want him to keep your hair done and you don’t even keep your hair done? How he need to buy you Chanel to hold your hand and you’ve never stepped foot near a Chanel retailer yourself? Girl, stop it. I digress.)
If you’re not ready to pay her rent quite yet, there are other items you can take care of. Let’s go with the median income from ages 25-34, according to NerdWallet: $60,000 — here are some things a man that budgets his money can do for a woman he’s trying to pursue:
fill her refrigerator with groceries
covering her self-maintenance costs (nails/toes, waxing, hair)
Pilates membership, or contributing to a physical fitness activity of her choice (does she enjoy tennis? local club membership, new rackets)
couples massages at the spa
investing in her future (she wants to do hair? shoot, put in on Paul Mitchell)
A man doing what he can for me, within his means, means more to me than a multimillionaire throwing some cash at me that’s nothing to him. Taking care of me, especially if I allow you to, is a sure way towards winning my heart.
photo credit: Twitter
4. Teach her
I’m too curious of a person to not always be in a learning state. I always want to know more about the world, about people, about the mind, about the body.
Let me learn about life thru you and thru my relationship with you.
A few days ago in this 30-day writing challenge, the writing prompt was to “write something someone told you about yourself that you never forgot,” and out of all the commentary, from all the people, in all my many interactions, a simple statement from my first boyfriend is what stuck out in my head the most. He didn’t go off to University the way I did, but he taught me more than I could learn in my college classes. I was very young, very wet behind the ears, with a lot to learn, and my relationship with my first boyfriend taught me a lot about life… the most of which was about myself. Weird, right? By being with him, I learned about me. He knew me so well, and was so close to me, that he was able to point aspects out about me that I couldn’t prior see.
Related: Words That Stuck With Me From My First Real Boyfriend
When you pay close enough attention to a woman to learn her, to know her, then to use your understanding to improve her, it speaks volumes to the connection you have to her. Once again, this traces back to the first way to a woman’s heart I mentioned earlier on this page, truly liking her for her (and to do this, you have to know her).
Gaining a better understanding of the world together is bound to open up my heart to a man.
5. Give me yours
Last but definitely not least, if you want to win my heart, give me yours.
If you do the first four ways to a woman’s heart, you’re inadvertently doing the fifth. That’s really all what all of these are.
Confide in me with your deepest secrets. Trust me enough to tell me things you share with no one else. Open up your heart to me with honesty. Don’t run game. Don’t check off a list of “ways to win a woman’s heart” for the sake of checking out the list. Be genuine. Be true.
Let your heart drift my way, and if the Universe sees fit, mine will be on the same path towards you. They’ll collide. And we’ll be.
How to win a woman’s heart?
Treat her like your baby.
Whan, whan, boy, I’m yo’ baby.
I kid, I kid, but you can’t deny the similarities. The short answer to winning my heart is resembling the father I never had but always wanted.
Think about what a good parent does to their child. A parent loves their child unconditionally. A parent tickles their tummy and giggles with baby. A parent anticipates the needs of their child. When a baby is grumpy, a parent tries to figure out what’s wrong and then does what they can as a parent to alleviate the issue. A parent teaches their child, while allowing them to learn on their own, thru their relationship with their child. A parent gives their entire heart over to their child.. a good parent, that is.
Yep, call me your baby, that’s what I want to be. That’s how I want you to treat me. And I’ll call you daddy if that’s what you want to be ☺
One way to really get my heart thumping is by sharing what resonates with yours. I really appreciate you being here and would be elated if you invite others to join us on this ride.
Talk to you later, aroundLAwithTK riders! Please subscribe for more content by entering your email address below.
