Not All Attractive Girls In L.A. Are Golddigging Hoes
Some are… but don’t lump ‘em all into there.
Listen, it’s after 11 o’clock at night and I need to get a blog post up because I’m on a 3-day streak of posting on this personal lifestyle blog daily. That means I need to get something up here quickly, before midnight. I wouldn’t be rushing now, if I started when I came to my desk earlier, to pour out my full heart of God’s grace that I was reminded of by a stranger. I went and took pictures in my front yard for that grateful/blessed/inspired/all-that-good-sh*t blog post. Then, I got distracted.
A new blog post idea came to mind as I thought about these catfish a** h*** flooding social media airwaves. I created a “How to Edit Your Pictures to Be a Baddie, NOT a Catfish” promo graphic… for a blog post that I hadn’t even written yet. Then, this little mind of mine went floating off again, landing me years back in my Instagram archive. And that’s where this quickie blog post comes in.
When I wrote my first post of this Los Angeles opinion column, defending the practice of women dating up, I tried to clarify the difference between an honest hypergamous woman and a lying gold-digging whore. Two responses from uneasy male friends of mine showed me that some people lost literacy when it came to that part, letting me know that I may have to further clarify at some point.
Hypergamy ≠ Gold-digging
I’m not going to full-blown “go in” with pages and pages of text the way I did in my first essay on the concept of hypergamy, but I’d like to share the words I wrote in an Instagram caption almost 3 years ago.
The other day, as I was on FaceTime with a younger cousin, trying to decide how to wear my hair for that night’s dinner reservations, she stopped me and inquired how I’m able to always be going out.
“Out there hoe’ing,” she said playfully, yet seriously wanting to know how I fund my activities.
That’s a notion I’ve received multiple times. One of the most important people in my life, my big brother, made a similar suggestion a while back in reference to trips I was taking. When I relieved his concern, he said, “okay, I know you were raised better than that, little girl.” (Apparently, you don’t if you had to ask.). I suppose it’s an understandable assumption in this era of where-da-bag-at female mentalities and you-can-have-the-biggest-Chanel-bag-in-the-store-if-you-want-it male bravado.
Yes, women exist whose lifestyle is sponsored by their romantic partner(s), but that doesn’t mean women that are the sole providers for themselves have gone extinct.
The main reason my little cousin’s conversation stuck with me is because I’d hate for young girls to think that the only and/or best way to have fun experiences and nice belongings is by way of a man. I want to set an example for my baby cousins, and other young girls, to let a man be an addition to what they have, not all that they have.
In the 2.5 years I’ve lived in L.A., I’ve worked a full-time job, in addition to having multiples side hustles. Thee. Entire. Time.
I haven’t received a dollar towards this high-as-giraffe-p****-a** rent, and I bought every Gucci and Louboutin in my closet. This is not glamorous. This is not what you post on Instagram, especially in Hollywood, where the motto is “fake it until you make it” and everyone pretends to be more than what they are and to have more than what they have — that ain’t me tho.
I appreciate every struggle; I know it only sweetens the taste of success to come.
I heard some wise words once: “find a woman that doesn’t need you to take care of her; then take care of her.”
image: Google
I’ll end on that. Women want to be taken care of. Women want a man that they trust to take care of them. Honest hypergamous women want this; they are already providing for themselves and want to multiply with a man. A woman that takes care of herself, that provides herself a certain level of lifestyle, has something to multiply. Hoes, on the other hand, need a man with money because without what a man provides, they have nothing but a vibe and vagina.
If you are a hoe, I’m not mad at you. I’m just saying that I’m not you.
I am not knocking anyone’s method of survival. It’s like my best guy friend, Calvin, said to me when I was critiquing a very well known LA pass around’s hoeness being the root of her success: “T.K., not every girl can make it without hoeing.” And he’s right. There’s a place in society for everyone, and God loves all His children equally.
I understand that not every girl has a skillset to create her own success. Or, maybe, strategization and manipulation is her skillset. Do you, girlfriend.
However, it’s when the lines are blurred that bothers me. It’s when young ladies think that their only option to a better life is spreading their legs that disheartens me.
And on a personal level, I don’t want the notion to be that a decent-looking girl with a nice lifestyle is bending over in front of the highest bidder for it. (As I said in my Instagram post, they exist, yes, so I don’t want to lie to y’all and say they don’t; I want y’all to be able to differentiate.)
Side note: I wonder what foul language Google will penalize me for.. I don’t want the algorithm to think that my personal lifestyle blog is some sort of inappropriate debauchery. That’s why I inserted asterisks in place of some words.
Good women (that aren’t using men for their money) exist.
I talk about hoes because people like to hear about hoes. One of my girlfriends from Baton Rouge was giving me advice on my YouTube channel once and suggested I give my videos spicier titles because YouTube users like drama; negativity gets clicks. I get it. I have to have upwards of 50 blog posts on this website by now and the one titled “Why Black Women In Los Angeles Should Date Up” got more engagement than all the others put together. I’ll continue to include polarizing titles and topics in my opinion column here on aroundLA, but I also like talking about the stuff that doesn’t bait people in with gossip.
As I’m repeating for the third time, yes, a vast portion of Instagram models, influencers, and girls on the social scene in L.A. are essentially high end escorts (that sometimes end up in long-term relationships or with a baby for a rich n****). However, once again, there are honest working women that aren’t hoeing on the side. And I’d like to highlight those women.
Hoes get too much attention.
My new blog series, #WorkingWomanWednesday, features girls getting to their own bag in L.A.
It’s a spin on the popular hashtag #WomanCrushWednesday.
As this is a personal lifestyle blog, the women I select are women that I know personally. I’ve witnessed them work in L.A. and I know what they’re about. They have their own and are not trying to use a man for his money.
They’re not those girls on Instagram trying to get you to buy their “Learn How to Create a 7-Figure Business” course for a thousand dollars, but leaving out the part where they slept with this one and that one to create theirs.
My woman crushes are working actresses, flight attendants, storefront owners, corporate women, and more.
The girls in LA that I feature are telling their true stories of where they were, what they did, and where they are now. They are goal-driven, not gold-diggin’. And I hope they’re doing will be a testament to young women everywhere, that if they want to, they can do it too… without laying on their back.
Follow @aroundLAwithTK on Instagram to have some LA sunshine show up on your feed.
See… It’s 3 o’clock in the morning now! What happened to a “quickie,” T.K.?! [gives self the side-eye]. If I’m going to continue being a personal Los Angeles lifestyle blogger, I need to figure out how to move a little faster. Aïe, aïe, aïe.
Later, y’all!
