Only Broke Men Are Mad When Women Say They Don't Date Broke Men
A few weeks ago, I told you all reasons why women should date and marry up, and I didn’t think I’d be back on a related topic this soon. I was thinking I’d finish my list of 50 Photo-Ops in Los Angeles today, but after being annoyed by ignorance on Clubhouse, the spirit led me here.
When I was a little girl and I’d get in trouble and told “I don’t want to hear anything… you better not say a word,” my head would be ready to explode! I’ve been opinionated, and very vocal about those opinions, since I learned my first words. I began using writing as an outlet when I wasn’t allowed to speak, and I suppose that’s what I’m doing right now.
I was cursed out then kicked out by a mature (in age), grown man.
This blog post isn’t about him, though. The anger he spewed at me, and the sheep that supported his venomous rage, simply got me thinking… why does it make some men so mad when a woman doesn’t want to sleep with a man that has one foot in a studio apartment and the other foot halfway into homelessness?!
I’m steadily trying to increase the amount of content on my website, and since this was on my mind, I figured I’d think out loud.
I’ll do the other blog post (a list of places to take pictures that will say you’re in L.A.) later.
If you don’t care to tune into my on my soapbox, please go enjoy the While in Los Angeles guide. Yesterday, I added a new piece under the Buy Black section, where I share Black-owned businesses aroundLA that’ll get you vacation-ready!
Okay, let’s get into it.
The only men that get offended when women say they don’t date broke men are broke men.
I hopped in the group message with a couple of my girlfriends from Louisiana and told them what had transpired on Clubhouse.
Let me fill you all in.. what is Clubhouse?
Clubhouse is an audio social media app. I liken it to a big conference or convention, but virtual. You know how a conference is held at a set location and at that location there are multiple rooms with different conversations or activities going on in each? That’s how it is. You can walk down the (virtual) hallway, getting a glimpse of what’s going on and see a little of who’s in each room.
If a room looks interesting to you, you can walk in (click on) the room and join it. There’s an elevated panel of speakers “on stage” (users at the top of the screen with microphone audio ability) and there’s an “audience” (users towards the bottom of the screen without mic ability) tuning in. If you have something you’d like to contribute to the conversation, you can “raise your hand” to speak by clicking on the icon of a hand in the bottom right corner of your screen.
If one of the moderators of the panel discussion (users highest toward the top of the screen with an asterisk in a green circle beside their name) would like, they can send you an “invite to join the stage”. When you press accept, you’ll be moved up from the virtual audience and onto the virtual stage, and given a mic (have the ability to speak on the app).
And now let me tell you what happened there.
I opened the app and joined one of the first rooms that appeared in my hallway. (Clubhouse will put rooms in your hallway that the algorithms think you may be interested in, the same way Instagram puts posts on your explore page). Though the lead moderator invited me to the stage immediately, giving me the ability to join the conversation, I left my mic on mute for a few hours or so and didn’t say a single peep. I was writing the “While in Los Angeles… Buy Black” blog post I told you all about earlier, and I had my phone volume completely turned down, allowing the Clubhouse app to only play like a radio on low. I also had soft music playing from my desktop computer. So, I was on the app, and in the room, but it was more for background noise as I work in my home office, which is something I do often.
I finished the piece I was working on, and shortly thereafter hell broke loose.
When I picked up my phone and started listening to the conversation, it was on the currently trending phrase “broke boys don’t deserve no p*ssy.” I don’t know how it got there from the original topic of the room, but that’s where it was when I happened to tune in. One of the men said, “why not?!” They then began to say that a man being broke shouldn’t be a factor if you find the man attractive. The lead moderator with his vulgar mouth said something along the lines of “if you want to f*** him, f*** him.” Then a man’s voice said, “just because a man is broke doesn’t mean he doesn’t get horny.. a broke n**** got needs too!”
And here comes what some people would define as a “pick me,” a girl that tries to insinuate that she’s different from other girls and/or say something in agreement with the male perspective in an effort to gain male desire and/or attention.
This woman did a whole soliloquy about how we don’t know what a man has been through, what type of childhood trauma he survived and the resulting pain and behaviors he brought into adulthood. “Maybe he’s still living at home with his mom for a reason. Maybe he stuck for a reason,” I remember the woman’s voice saying. Then she continued on about how a man that is struggling needs a woman, and that a woman can help him get a job and a place. She said a whole lot and I wasn’t recording, so I can’t quote her exactly word-for-word, but what I do remember for sure is that she ended by saying something along the lines of being denied sex isn’t going to make broke men feel any better, so “they need p**** too!”
I took my microphone off of mute and said in a cartoon voice, “sure they do.. they just won’t get it from me.”
Ladies on stage came off of mute with laughter and words of agreement. The lead moderator, the one that brought me up to stage, immediately quieted the room. One of the men said, “T.K. has been in here a while and hasn’t said anything, I want to hear what she has to say,” but other people starting talking. He quickly brought it back to me, “T.K., what do you have to say? Answer the question.” I asked what question. (Maybe before I picked up my phone and started listening they were going down the line asking women to answer whatever question was at hand). He said, “would you give a broke man some p*ssy?” I simply responded, “no.” The man that posed the question and the lead moderator asked “why not?”
I’m not a woman that has ever been promiscuous, though I admire women that are sexually liberated, I’ve never found it in myself to be so free. It takes a while to work your way into this womb. And I don’t foresee a broke man making it there. I explained this.
For some reason, people chose to have selective hearing, and responded, “oh, so a man can’t take you on a walk in the park as a date?” Then the lead moderator jumped in and said “yeah, but you’ll let him f*** if he takes you to a fancy restaurant.”
Whaaaaaaaaat? [inserts RHOA “who said that?” gif] I had to let him know that he made that scenario up in his own mind because I didn’t say anything of them sort. In fact, I said the opposite. I don’t care if the first date is at a park or the fanciest restaurant in Beverly Hills, it’s highly unlikely that I’m having sex with someone after either. Then I reiterated my initial point that it takes time for me to reach the level of sexual intimacy with a partner.
The lead moderator gave his best effort at a rebuttal. “See, you don’t know this, but a man that takes you to a park will be better at connecting with you than a man that takes you to a bullsh*t a** fancy restaurant. I promise you that.”
Then another pick me joined the lead moderator’s efforts and said, “yeah, what’s wrong with the park? A man can trick you to think he has money with these PPP loans right now, take you to a fancy restaurant, f*** you, and then you find out he’s broke, so you can’t say you don’t f*** broke men because you have been fooled before and f***** a broke man but you just didn’t know it.”
Whooooooooooooooooo? I told her that she obviously missed my opening statement. I know I haven’t had sexual intercourse with clown, bum, nor fraud, in the way she described being fooled or falling victim to a facade because I deeply get to know a person before I allow them to put their private part inside of mine.
Okay, I’m starting to yawn and get a headache, so I’ll spare both of us the remainder of this back and forth dialogue, and get to the point… men being mad and where they should channel that energy instead.
You’re not missing much because the dialogue portion ended quickly when the lead moderator either had no valid points to make or was incapable of articulating them. Instead, he resorted to yelling insults into the microphone, making up stuff I hadn’t said, then calling me a golddigging a** b**** and repeatedly saying how dumb I sound for it (it being the stuff he made up in his mind).
I would say he manipulated my words, but he wasn’t oratorically skilled enough to do that. I don’t know if his understanding is so poor that he completely misinterpreted everything I said, or if he straight up told bold faced lies on me.
If you’re wondering what I was doing during this verbal attack, I couldn’t do much. In his screaming words, “this is my house and I can be as disrespectful as I want to be in my house. I say whatever the f*** I want to say in my house. Shut the f*** up!” (Reminder: this was all taking place virtually, over an app, even though the way he was talking, you’d swear he has keys to a physical location). The moment I did squeeze a word in edgewise, he (virtually) kicked me out.
When I talked to my girlfriends from Louisiana about it in our group message, I came to the realization that it’s never the secure and successful men getting upset about women having reasonable and respectable standards. It’s actually the complete opposite.
Successful men take pride in the fact that a woman they’re involving themselves with wouldn’t entertain any old dusty!
What did Young Dolph say?
You cain’t f*** with my girl, she a rich n**** b****
Have some pride… or don’t.
If you’re interested in a low value woman, pursue that. If you want some sympathy cat, according to that Clubhouse room, there’s some women out there willing to give it to you… don’t get mad at those of us who won’t.
Good things don’t come easy
If you want something a little more quality, that’s going to take you some time and effort.
Dating and relationships are unique to each pair of people, but most of them tend to follow an evolving sequence of stages. First comes basic attraction, then comes interests (getting to know one another), and after those two comes deeper intimacy (which may include physical intimacy). These stages don’t happen in the matter of hours, days, or even weeks or months. That second stage alone, the one after the initial meeting/attraction, is likely to last 3 to 4 months, according to Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Sally Connolly.
Maybe you aren’t thinking about dating seriously. Maybe you only want to get your little pedawhacker wet. There are still other things you can focus all that pent up energy on.
3 Things broke boys can try other than trying to get in a girl’s panties
Pray
The Lord is your Shephard, you shall not want.. for p**** you think you should have but are not entitled to
Get therapy
A 60-minute therapy session with a licensed professional will likely be more beneficial than the 60 seconds it takes you to climax
Make some money
Not to pry your way into the penis fly trap. Prioritize. Maybe start with paying off your back-owed child support
Yeah.
I started this blog post very spur of the moment, got distracted, went on about my day, then came back to my desk and noticed it up on my computer screen, after I was already over this topic, but I figured since I started it, I may as well finish it. I didn’t jot down notes and work from there, how I like to do, which now leaves me unsure if I covered everything, or approached the topic at the angle, I originally wanted to for this post. At this point though, it’s approaching 2am in L.A, I’m a couple of glasses of wine in, and I’m ready to go to bed, so I’m done.
If it’s terrible, let me know. I probably won’t delete it because I need all the content and clicks I can get. Let’s run these analytics up! I will, however, take it into consideration before I get on my soapbox again.
A hit dog will holler.
I’ll close on that note.
Before you attack a woman that says she doesn’t desire to have sexual relations with broke men, ask yourself why does that trigger you?
Feel free to unleash your hurt male egos in the comment section of this blog post below.
