The Unfiltered Realities of Dating Preferences: A Closer Look
[blog cover credit: Google Images result from typing “broke boys don’t deserve”]
We’re revisting a previous post that stirred up some emotions in folks.
Two years ago.. My goodness gracious, and my blog is still on the ground two years later?! Girrrrrrrl, if this isn’t a nasty reminder that you need to get consistent, I don’t know what is [shakes head in shame]. I digress…
Two years ago, someone ticked me off and I decided to take it to the soapbox.
Long story short, a man asked me, in front of an audience, if I have adult intimate relations with financially unstable men. (He asked in a much more vulgar manner, but this revisit is the clean version. In the original version, I was heated and more descriptive about how this man disrespected me.) Answering his question honestly, I expressed how that has never been a dream of mine, neither has it been a position I’ve put myself in, nor one a plan to put myself in. He didn’t appreciate my response and proceeded with his attempt to crucify me, which led me to wonder why.
Original Post: Only Broke Men Are Mad When Women Say They Don't Date Broke Men
From my early days, where words were a luxury, to navigating the virtual landscape of Clubhouse, I've been vocal about my opinions. Recently, a seemingly simple preference triggered an unexpected storm – the revelation that I don't date men teetering between a studio apartment and homelessness. This post delves not into that specific incident but aims to explore the broader question: why does such a stance trigger intense reactions in some men?
Clubhouse Chaos: Unveiling the Debate
The journey began innocently enough on Clubhouse, the virtual audio social media app. A room discussion on the trending phrase "broke boys don't deserve no goodies" led to a heated debate. The discourse revolved around whether a man being broke should impact a woman's decision if she finds him attractive.
Pick Me Phenomenon: Dissenting Voices
A "pick me" moment emerged when a woman passionately defended struggling men, suggesting that a woman could be the catalyst for positive change in a man's life. The notion that denying "goodies" to broke men won't make them feel better became a focal point. It was here that I, with a touch of humor, asserted my position – acknowledging their needs but clarifying they wouldn't be fulfilled by me.
Selective Hearing and Misinterpretations
The ensuing dialogue saw selective hearing and misinterpretations. Questions like, "Would you give a broke man some goodies?" were met with a straightforward "no" from me. I explained my approach to intimacy, emphasizing the need for a deeper connection before exploring physical intimacy.
Virtual Verbal Attack: Unraveling the Backlash
What followed was a virtual verbal attack. The lead moderator, lacking in oratorical finesse, resorted to insults and exaggerations, leading to my expulsion from the room. This incident sparked introspection on why successful men don't react similarly to reasonable dating standards.
I can't talk to broke boys
I don't want no convo, I don't got no time for
Boys postin' in a mansion, livin' in a condo— “Broke Boys” by 21 Savage + Drake
(I’d never heard of that song in my life until typing “broke boys” into Google to see what images would come up as I look for a blog cover.. but how fitting?! I may have to go listen to that song by 21 Savage and Drake.)
Quality Over Quantity: Dating Insights
Dating and relationships are unique journeys, with stages evolving over time. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Sally Connolly suggests that the stage after initial attraction can last 3 to 4 months. This insight into the natural progression of relationships challenges the notion that intimacy should happen hastily.
Redirecting Energy: Three Alternatives for Broke Boys
To those upset by women with standards, I propose redirecting that energy. Three alternatives for "broke boys" include praying for guidance, seeking therapy for personal growth, and prioritizing financial stability over pursuing fleeting pleasures.
Closing Thoughts: A Hit Dog Will Holler
As I wrap up this reflection, I leave room for the inevitable backlash. The realization is clear – it's not secure and successful men who get upset by reasonable standards; it's quite the opposite. In the words of Young Dolph, "You cain't mess with [my girl]; she a rich [man's girl]." Pride in the company of a woman who values herself becomes a mark of true success.
In conclusion, this journey through the Clubhouse chaos and subsequent reflections opens a dialogue on societal perceptions, dating standards, and the significance of personal growth in relationships. Before attacking a woman's dating preferences, it's crucial to introspect and understand why such choices trigger certain reactions.
