8 Reasons I HATE Lori Harvey
The Lure of Lori: Men Want Her and Women Want to be Her
Why is Lori Harvey famous? Why do women look up to Lori Harvey? Why do men want Lori Harvey? I don’t know, but let me tell you why I hate her…
She doesn’t talk.
When she does talk, she’s not a caricature of a Black woman, nor does she “act white.”
Her skin is smooth and her baby hairs lay down on their own.
The banging body she has now is mostly a result of mental and physical work she put in.
She’s an influencer. No, fr.. She has actual influence.
Her and Ms. Marjorie are a picturesque idea of a mother-daughter duo.
Ms. Marjorie made sure anybody that Lori would call daddy was well off. And I mean “daddy” in more ways than one.
The darn child is even pretty and pleasant in-person!
If you’re new here, aroundLAwithTK is a personal blog. A quick Google search lets us know that “a personal blog is a blog that focuses on the writer’s individual experiences and thoughts”.
I’m Te’Keya Krystal, the writer. You’re you, the reader, or what I like to call here, if you rock witcha girl, a rider.
You’re in the opinion column section of this personal blog, meaning, herein lies opinions based on my own experiences. It’s okay if we disagree. Rebuttals are welcome under this blog post, in my mentions on Twitter or the comment section of an Instagram post, or even on the blog’s Facebook wall, if you so desire. (I’m hoping you do, I like to chat.)
Enough disclaimers, let’s get into these:
8 Reasons I Hate Lori Harvey!
When Lori Harvey hits a red carpet, she will stun. | photo: People Magazine
She doesn’t talk.
Back in junior high, there was this 80-pound, lightskin girl with the shiniest curly hair and thick glasses, who never said a word. We had classes together, she never raised her hand. We rode the school bus together, she never cut up. We had recess together, she never made a scene. It perplexed me. I wonder if she remembers me picking with her, “girl, say something!” She would look and respond with a small snicker, “like what?”
You hear what we’ve been talking about?!
Yeah.
Okay, what do you have to say?!
[one-shoulder shrug]
You mean to tell me you really have nothing to say?!
[head shakes “no” at a tilt]
Well, what’s going on in your head right now?!
[eyes dart from left to right under glasses] Nothing.
THERE IS NO WAY YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. There’s no way.
People that don’t talk bother me because now you’re putting more work on my brain making up what you could possibly be thinking because you have to be thinking something. My thoughts never turn off, so ain’t no way yours never turn on.
Come on now, Lori, girl. All the Instagram gossip pages were running amuck when you were thought to have been romantically involved with a man after already having been romantically involved with his son. (I doubt y’all didn’t hear this one, because I don’t even keep up with the rumor mill for real, and I heard it, but if you didn’t, the rumor was Lori dated Diddy’s son, the one that looks like a Teddy Graham, then proceeded to date Diddy). All of it sounds like a bunch of bologna, if you ask me.
The most logical explanation is Lori and Teddy were hanging out because they’re kids of rich dads. It’s expected for folks in the same realm to cross paths. The kid may have had a crush on her, but I doubt she entertained it. My girl probably hit him with that, “aw, you’re cute.. But where’s yo’ daddy at?” Then, maybe she gave getting to know Diddy a try, but they didn’t vibe. I don’t see her giving the yams up to Diddy either. I’d’ve had to be in the room to believe it.
Whichever way the cookie crumbled or the yams smacked, I know she heard the talk and there’s no way possible she had nothing to say about it. That’s only one example. She says nothing about nothing. It’s annoying like the skinniest girl in secondary school, but worse because I don’t have access to eventually work her thoughts out of her.
When she does talk, she’s not a caricature of a Black woman, nor does she “act white.”
You know when you’re walking along Hollywood Boulevard, or a state fair, and there’s a vendor offering to do a drawing of you with the super big head, toothpick neck and your most prominent feature further exaggerated? Those are cute. The behavioral version of that is not. Nothing grinds my gears more than a Whoah Vicky acting person. It’s when a person takes a style, trait, and/or way of speech typical to one type of person and applies it to themselves in an overly dramatized form. Unfortunately, it’s getting folks ahead, especially via social media.. so many caricatures that lack true character.
Lori talks like she’s being herself and like she might have some sense.
Her skin is smooth and her baby hairs lay down on their own.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ‘bout tired of seeing hair from Sri Lanka slapped on the front of a girl from Philly’s forehead. Did wigs always have those super short pieces? Nah.. Y’all came up with that, hein? Whose idea was it to add tendrils of hair around the perimeter of a unit to then be glued to the skin’s surface?
Then, when you’re not wearing a wig that comes with it, you all have gone to an even further extreme of sticking shavings of hair around there.
But you know what, if my hairline ever tried to recede on me, honey, you better believe I’d be right there with you and the best of glue, adhering those strands around this big pie face. This brings me back to my point, the nerve of Lori Harvey to not only have a hairline full of natural baby hairs, but for them to lay down like she came out the puss yesterday! Ugh.
I’ve seen people in the comment section under pictures of her saying “she needs to brush those lil’ hairs back” or “let go of those childish baby hairs Lori”, and I’m not sure if they simply felt like saying something or if they really don’t understand that natural hair growth pattern exists.
I kid you not, I heard somebody say, “you trying to do your edges like the edges of a lacefront wig.” [inserts “b**** what” gif]
Yeah, and Neiman Marcus is trying to sell shoes like the shoes sold in Steve Madden.
The banging body she has now is mostly a result of mental and physical work she put in.
A lot of these Instagram fitness girlies are scamming tf out of y’all! They have you buying the flat tummy teas and the waist trainers and their workout plans, to get their body, when they got their body from a surgeon. [inserts “make it make sense” gif]
These InstaThots are selling y’all dreams and y’all buying into it continues to afford them that ability (more trips to the world’s best in medicine). Not Ms. Lori though, she’s fine for no reason at all, not with the gimmicks, just fine. And fine by her doing!
Now Ms. Marjorie is a very attractive woman, oh yes she is, but the banging body department is not the blessing she had to pass down through her genetics. Lori’s face is an undeniable natural beauty that she really didn’t have to do anything to have; that neck below though… My girl wasn’t gifted a 90s-supermodel/Tyra-Banks-body; my girl had to work for that slim and trim waistline she has today! She may have bought the boobs, whatever.. And that newly chiseled look to her face may have been assisted by a buccal fat procedure, but anyway.. You can look at her and see the rest of that figure is all hard work and dedication. And she looks tf GOODT!
She’s an influencer. She has actual influence.
The term influencer is being run through the ground. Everyone and their mama with a camera phone and a pair of shoes is an influencer now. Yeah, yeah.. Lori Harvey, however, has actual influence. Benefits of a yogurt face mask have been purported for years before that youngin’, but when that youngin’ posted about putting yogurt on her face, it sent the girlies running to their local grocer. It’s me, I’m the girlies. I’m subscribed to a range of newsletters from neuroscience to beauty to holistic health, so yeah, I’ve seen this home remedy for brightening and fighting inflammation. It was something about when Lori said she’d tried it though that made me go “oh”. Next thing ya know, yep…
Lori Harvey is a beauty influencer. | photo: Refinery29
We humans trust other humans. Even if it’s not a human we know personally, when it comes to certain things, we are more willing to give something a go if someone else has and they had positive results. And though a random person could work, a person we’ve built a rapport with (even in our head) works even more. We’ve seen Lori over and over and over again, we know, at least from what we know, that her skin always looks good, so when she says “this is a trick I use for my skin”, even if it’s a trick we’ve heard before, we’re more interested in that old trick.
I won’t belabor this point because Lord knows this opinion column post is already way too long with my long-winded behind, but the same applies with her sharing the calorie limit and high cardio exercise routine to burn fat. And that’s why I hate Lori Harvey, because I don’t even have any fat to lose and she had me ‘round here ready to cut my calorie intake to 500 and run on the treadmill in my sleep!
(In the event you’re unfamiliar with my humor, which you probably aren’t, cutting calories to only 500 per day is NOT a good idea for anyone; you’ll send your body into starvation mode and end up worse than your bad-built behind started.)
Her and Ms. Marjorie are a picturesque idea of a mother-daughter duo.
At my first luxury industry job in Beverly Hills, I met Lori’s mother Ms. Marjorie. And, as you’ll find out in the point-after-next, at my following place of employment, I assisted Lori. In my time, the two didn’t come in together, so I don’t know how they interact with one another, and even if they had, I still wouldn’t know the inner workings of their relationship. Yeah, I don’t know what they have going on for real, but from what I’ve seen on the Internet here and there, they are got darn picture-perfect! Oh em gee, I love a good mother-daughter moment.
Ms. Marjorie made a lovely little “mini me” with Lori. | photo: International Business Times
Ms. Marjorie has a commanding yet soft presence. It’s the way she looks you squarely in your eyes, lowers her eyelids just a smidge, then turns her mouth up into a smile. She is a woman! My God. Once again, this is off of first impressions and speaking in passing, me and Ms. Marjorie have never sat around Beverly Hills chopping it up. If we had though, I could imagine her having just the right amount of sass, while maintaining all the class.
It’s very clear that Ms. Marjorie has passed down this charming essence to her daughter. Most women dream of making a “mini me” (even if the world didn’t need a one of them). Mothers want to mold. Mama Marj made a lovely young lady and I love that for Lori. And I hate Lori for that, because all my mama made was a ghetto a$$ b!tch. Damn.
Ms. Marjorie made sure anybody that Lori would call daddy was well off. And I mean “daddy” in more ways than one.
Honey, listen, that charm isn’t thee only thing Ms. Marjorie passed down to little Lori. First of all, Mama Marj wasn’t becoming no mama for no rag-a-muffin. Mm mn! From my understanding, Lori Harvey’s biological father was at the top of his industry in his realm, and we all know the man Ms. Marjorie later married and made Lori’s father by law is at the top of his industry in his realm. I remember riding the school bus in elementary school and hearing the Steve Harvey Morning Show with Uncle Tommy prank calling folks. Steve Harvey is in my grandmother’s generation but transcends entertainment to where my little, little cousins, her great-great-grandchildren will probably know his name and consume a piece of his content at some point in their lives.
All the boys want Lori, baby! | photo collage: ItsGame7
And baby, Ms. Marjorie taught Lori how to pick ‘em because you won’t see her messing with no bums either!
Hey, daddy.
The darn child is even pretty and pleasant in-person!
When I was an assistant to a personal shopper in Beverly Hills, Lori was one of our clients. The Korean princess I worked under told me this early on, I suppose to get me excited about the job, and possibly as a point of connection. Working with the likes of middle-aged white women such as Jamie Lee Curtis didn’t exactly make me jump up and down when they’d come in, so it seems she thought talking about a poppin’ young Black girl that we work with would do the trick. Little did she know, only person I’ma jump for is Jesus. Before joining that personal shopping team, I’d already worked in these environments for a few years, seeing everybody from Kendall Jenner to Beyonce, none of which gave me a thrill because I was raised by a grandmother that would say, “you walk around on two feet just like me.” And it’s not to say idgaf about who a person is, but… [inserts blank stare]
I care greatly about how a person is, not who the person is. And Lori was lovely.
I must admit, I assumed Lori was going to be some bratty, aloof girl with a valley voice. She wasn’t that at all. She was warm. I was stunned. Working in luxury retail, I’ve had clients walk into the area I’m working, look me square in the eyes, then look away without saying a word after I’ve greeted them.. enough to make me lose my religion. Child, I don’t know what’s worse, that, or when they don’t even see you as if you’re Casper the Ghost. Unlike those wretched clients, Lori was smiling, present and engaged.
Oh, it’s “8 Reasons I Hate,” but here’s a bonus one…
Lori Harvey gets free publicity. Look at me, out of all the topics aroundLA I could be bitching about on my little soap box, I’m in this cute Culver City coffee shop writing about got dawg on Lori Harvey. Now this is only a low-traffic personal blog that may not have any effect on her public profile, but the point still remains; she gets folks talking. People will cover Lori Harvery without her (or her publicist, really) having to ask. Shoot, if anything, they’re rejecting requests.
Chugga chugga chuuuu chu! 8 Reasons to Hate Lori Harvey has reached its last stop. Everyone must deboard.
Okay, this hate train has come to a halt.
Prediction is, Lori Harvey will have the attention of many for years to come! | photo: HuffPost
She’s above the average level of attraction. She’s a wealthy woman in her 20s, and has been a child to a mother that made sure she was always somebody’s rich baby. She carries herself well. And on top of being good-looking with money, she may even have the most important thing of all: being a good person. Did I miss anything?
Hopefully, Lori will give me reasons to hate her for years to come. The girl looks like she’s only getting started!
(Whew, I’m so glad I’m finished this.. each time I typed, and read over “hate” it made me cringe a little. My grandmother once scolded me saying, “no child of God hates another child of God, or anyone for that matter, so I better not ever catch you saying you hate anyone.” So even though it was used for dramatic literary purposes here, it felt more crude than dropping the F-bomb all up and down this page.)
If you found any point in this blog post to be true, please share it. If you found any point in this blog post to be false, you really have to share it (you know the Internet loves lies). If you have a direct line of contact to Lori Harvey, keep this one to yourself… how will we ever be BFFs if she finds out I’m a total creeper?!
Thank you, riders. I appreciate you.
