Transitioning Journey: I Never Wanted to Go Natural, But Here I am
I remember my grandfather bribing me with a box a fudge rounds or swiss rolls, and I’d sit there, happily as ever, ignoring the “tingles” as I stuffed my face and flipped thru pages of my newest Junie B. Jones book he’d bought me. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even out of preschool good before I started getting relaxers regularly. And as much as I believe it was a horror of some girls’ childhood, my overall memory of this process is fond. Even when I got a chemical burn, I enjoyed picking the scab. Is that gross? Nonetheless, these moments were precious. I had snacks, I had something to read, and I got to sit up under my Papa.
my grandfather, my first hairdresser, cutting Muhammed Ali’s hair
If you’re wondering why my grandfather, of all people, was the one doing my hair, it’s because he was (and is) technically a licensed cosmetologist. He was (and is) a Barber. He has been cutting hair since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Okay, maybe not that long, but he did cut Muhammad Ali’s hair when he was a young man, and this time I’m not exaggerating (yep, that’s really my handsome Papa in that photo with the legendary boxer). And now, at an elegant 82 years of age, my Papa is still doing his passion at the barber shop 3 days a week!
I’m not opposed to relaxers.
When “going natural” became more popular, naturals reminded me of annoying vegans. You know how whenever you meet a vegan, you immediately know they’re a vegan because they force that information down your throat, as they go on to tell you about how horrible it is to eat byproducts of animals and/or how superior of a human they are now that they don’t? Yeah, that’s what naturals gave me. They were always talking about no longer being fried, dyed and laid to the side — and most importantly, trying to pull you into the head full of hair haven. Speaking of a lot of hair, this still baffles me. They’d swear they have so much more hair now than before, telling me I need stop getting relaxers, and I’d be thinking inside of my head, “you mean to tell me you had even less hair than this?!” Girl, I’m doing fine. Let me go on about my relaxed business.
I never thought I’d stop getting relaxers.
May 2016, post-college; hair does not appear to be damaged by continuous relaxers
Out of the slew girlfriends I had in college, I was thee only one still chemically straightening my hair beyond graduation and I defended that choice strongly. I had all my edges, no bald spots, no stunted growth; I’d cut it and it’d grow back decently. It wasn’t see-through. It had fullness and bounce, when done well. I was in a good place. Why would I go creating trouble for myself?! Relaxed hair was easy. And that whole “If You Ain’t Natural, You Don’t Love Yourself (or your Blackness)” notion is bologna. A few clicks around this website will reveal to you that I’m pro-Black af. Though I’m quick to diagnose someone with a case of self-hate, a mere hairstyle choice will not land them there in my book.
I was conned.
My girlfriends from college still say, “I never thought I’d see the day.” Yeah, me either. My current beautician tricked me into this lifestyle. (Yes, lifestyle; having natural hair is a whole lifestyle change). I never sat down and had some sort of revelation about going natural. My going natural happened naturally.
“You know you don’t need a relaxer, hunh?”
“Oh, yes, I do!”
Nesha, owner of SETS Salon LA, insisted that I didn’t need a relaxer and I insisted right on back that I did. Ever since I’d been having a switch in my imaginary hips, I’d been getting a relaxer and roller set. That’s what I knew. One without the other didn’t compute in my head, and a roller wrap was my style as much as Anna Wintour’s bob is hers. Though she told me that I could still achieve my style without a relaxer, it didn’t seep thru my thick skull and I got a relaxer anyway.
Note: She didn’t deny me my relaxer, nor did she ever speak ill of relaxers. She offered a thought. She told me she helps clients make healthy decisions for their hair. She respects women’s choices, while not being afraid to tell a client no if they’re requesting a service their hair can’t take. In my case, a relaxer done right wouldn’t hurt me, but not getting one at all wouldn’t hurt either, so she presented that option.
When I realized that option was way less expensive, I was sold!
I didn’t say I was going to stop getting relaxers, but I considered the aspect of saving money by skipping that service on more visits. My plan wasn’t to stop, it was only to space them out for budgeting purposes. (Lord knows every penny counts when living in Los Angeles). I’d done this before and my prior beauticians would eventually say, “okay girl, you have way too much new growth.. it’s time!” But Nesha didn’t say anything. She kept quietly transitioning my hair, not bringing up a relaxer, nor a big chop.
I blinked and it had been a year since my last relaxer. I blinked again and it had been two.
last relaxer: March 2017
“big chop”: March 2019
I had enough natural hair to not look like Lil’ Webbie at this point. So, after two years of transitioning, we cut off the remainder of my relaxed ends. The relaxers stopped, but the roller sets didn’t.
She got a roller wrap, she make her booty clap.
You know that gif where Rihanna tosses her hair with a swift flick of her head, while her hands are on her knees, as she continues to pop her butt? Yeah, that’s how I feel with my new head of hair. But, the New Orleans version.. There was a New Orleans bounce song where someone on the track would say, “she gotta roller wrap, she make ha booty clap.” Or, at least I thought there was. I can’t seem to find it now. Maybe this was only a line my high school classmates had made up, and said to the rhythm of a bounce beat when a girl would come in with her hair freshly done. The girl would then do a little spin, maybe booty bounce, and/or a hair swing. Whether it’s really a song or not, that’s the sentiment.
I never wanted to go natural, but here I am… loving it.
April 2020 — 3 years of natural hair growth
If you didn’t skip straight to the end of this article, you’ll see that I am not here to make a case for going natural because I, myself, didn’t even plan this. I kind of just ended up going natural. When I went in for my last relaxer, I didn’t think that was going to be my last relaxer. I don’t recall ever being truly dedicated as I was transitioning to natural, but now that I’m here, I’ve become mildly obsessed. I research and put special effort into what I put in my body, as well as on my head, to help my hair out.
Because being natural doesn’t automatically make your hair a healthy, growing, Chia pet. And on the other hand, getting relaxers doesn’t automatically make your hair unhealthy and incapable of growth. Relaxed or natural, your hair can look a hot mess, or it can flourish. It’s about maintaining healthy hair in either state. As long as you’re taking proper care of it, I’m here to make a case for doing whatever tf you want to do with your hair.
And whatever that may be, you better work, *****!!
